FREEDOM, LOVE AND

JOY CHALLENGE

Prep Day Transcript

You are never behind.

You can’t get it wrong.

Freedom Love and Joy Challenge

Transcript Day 1 - Prep Day

Hello my beautiful Blissiplinarian friends,

Welcome to the 21-Day Freedom, Love & Joy Challenge.

Today is Day One, Prep Day, and Prep Day is the day we prepare in two important ways.

One is logistical. Just setting up some basic understandings and getting yourself ready in a few ways.

And the other is mindset. The psychological and emotional framework that’s going to make this a really good experience for you.

🧰 Logistics

Let’s start with the logistics of our 21-Day Freedom, Love and Joy Challenge.

You can find resources for the challenge in two places:

The videos and documents will be stored in The Blissipline Resource Center, which you can access here.

Then we have a dedicated Blissipline Community chat space, which you can find here.

You can find an explanation about how to download the apps for the Resource Center and the Community for your phone or how to access them on your computer on the welcome page here.

The 21-Day Challenge is made up of the Prep Day, plus five Challenges, each of which is followed by three 3 ACE days, which are a specific kind of practice day.

You can find the schedule in the Blissipline Resource Center by clicking here.

This is the schedule that I will be using to present the materials.

Your schedule will be whatever it is!

✨ What’s an ACE day?

When we were kids, if someone did really well on an assignment, we used to say, “I aced it!” It felt so good!

The good news is that in this challenge, you’re not competing against anyone, not even yourself! You can totally ACE this, and here’s how…

A.C.E. stands for Accomplish, Celebrate, Encourage.

This is in fact the heart of this experience.

A – Accomplish: First you just do one of the suggested practices. Each challenge will come with a range of suggestions, and you are welcome to make up your own.

C – Celebrate: Then, you come into the group chat and celebrate it! This is actually really important. You get to own what you did. You get to claim it. And this makes it gain power.

Feel free to talk about it, describe what felt good about it, honor what was hard about it. Sometimes just doing something nice for ourselves is hard.

Also, if you share it, someone else might be inspired to do something similar, and you are spreading the love.

E – Encourage: When others see your post, they can comment and celebrate with you, and this encouragement is surprisingly helpful!

As adults, we often get very little encouragement, so receiving it feels really good, and it helps us take another next step. Plus, you get to encourage others on their Accomplishments, and that actually feels really good to do

Together we build a culture of enthusiasm, kindness, generosity and support that makes it easier and more joyful to do the things that are important to us.

🐢 You’re Never Behind

So a very important understanding about this challenge is you get to do it your way, and on your schedule.

This means you can never be behind.

For example, let’s say you start out super gung-ho, and then on Day 4, you get sidetracked by life, and three days later, you suddenly remember you were in the middle of a challenge.

No Problem!!! Really.

Just pick up wherever you left off, and start again.

Ok?

Our rule is:

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

You are never behind.

You cannot get it wrong.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

This is so important because a whole lot of our suffering comes from trying to fulfill expectations that are totally meaningless--rushing to meet some deadline that isn’t necessary and might even just be made up in your head or based on someone else’s random thought.

Or trying to do something the “right way” when there is no right way. There are just a million, billion ways, and you get to choose what feels best to you.

In the challenge, what we will be doing is SPECIFICALLY and LITERALLY practicing making choices that FEEL BETTER, that’s your only job in navigating the schedule: To make the choice that feels better to you.

If it feels better to skip a day, and then come back to the challenge, great!

I will encourage you, though, to do each day in order.

So if, for example, you’re in Challenge 1 and you did the first of the three ACE days… And then you skip the next two ACE days… And then I introduce Challenge 2… I do encourage you to do the two ACE days you missed. The ACE days are actually the main event!

🛤️ Track Your Journey

To support you in giving time to each day, I’ve created a tracking document. You might have already seen it where you found this document.

There will be a new one for each Challenge with a page for each day.

I encourage you to use these. Print them out if you like. Or copy them into a google doc, or a word or pages doc. Or get yourself a new journal if you like.

As I’ll explain in a little later, the more senses we use, the more neural networks we build to support the new ways of being.

Tracking things, writing them down, is a powerful neural network builder, and creating a reference you can come back to later will help you when you need a reminder of what worked for you.

🕰️ Today’s Prep Practice

In the tracking doc you’ll see a space for making notes about what you did today. Most days that will be about some activity you did in your life, but since today is prep day, it’s all about prep.

In this video you will find some thoughts on mindset, how we learn, what’s possible for you, etc. I encourage you to listen, make some notes, feel free to follow along with the transcript. You are welcome to post any questions or thoughts in the chat.
Create your tracking document. You can download or print the ones I created or make your own, and some suggestions for that are on the first page of today’s tracking document.
Please post an intro in the Community. Tell us a little about yourself. Where in the world you are. Some of the things you really love to do. What you’d like to experience in this challenge.
Spend a little time musing and writing about what Freedom, Love and Joy mean to you. I will talk about them more below, but what are your ideas? What do you know? What do you hope? What do you want to learn?
And then make your first ACE post in the community, telling us something about what you accomplished on your prep day.
I also invite you to set an intention to share at least one thing in the chat every day of your 21 day challenge (your own personal schedule). You are an essential member of this community. ♥️

So now that’s all out of the way, we can finally get to the mindset, the psychological and emotional framework of the challenge that will help you really benefit from our time together—because that’s really the most important stuff!

🧠 You Only Really Learn from Experience

This challenge is based on a couple of understandings.

The first is that we only really learn things for ourselves by doing something and experiencing it for ourselves.

We can think or read or talk about things all day long, but it’s not until we actually experience them for ourselves that we begin to have a personal knowledge of it.

Doing stuff could also be called practicing, because whether it’s on purpose or not, everything we do, think, and feel strengthens the likelihood of us doing, thinking and feeling that again.

So it’s important to understand—you are always practicing something. All day long, every moment you’re awake, you’re practicing states of mind, opinions, patterns of behavior.

🌀 Conscious vs Unconscious Practice

One important thing to consider is: Are you doing this thing deliberately? Or is it just an unconscious habit or reaction?

Most of our thoughts and behaviors are strong habits we repeat over and over. They aren’t fresh decisions—they’re old habits, based on neural patterns formed by years of repetition. Over time, they become the default settings for how we react, interpret, and feel.

These patterns were often built for survival or efficiency—not joy or freedom. So until we interrupt them with conscious practice, we keep replaying the same mental, emotional and behavioral patterns, even when they no longer serve us.

We are always practicing something. Sometimes it’s deliberate. Sometimes it’s just an old habit.

If we want to create positive changes, we have to begin to make deliberate, conscious choices… and practice them.

🪩 Rock It ‘Til You Grok It

One of our mottos in the Blissipline community is: You’ve got to rock it ‘til you grok it. You have to actually do it. You’ve got to rock it out.

And then eventually, you’re going to grok it. Grokking it means you know it in your body, in your experience, in your heart, in your muscles, in your tastebuds, in your words. It’s yours.

So if you want to create positive change, you've got to rock it till you grok it.

And once you grok it it’s SO much easier to rock it.

So to recap, the first premise is: we only really learn things for ourselves by practicing something and experiencing it for ourselves

🚫 We Avoid Practice

The second premise is: People really avoid practicing. We avoid it like crazy.

This has been my experience over and over, through many years of being a mindfulness teacher, therapist, etc.—for most people, finding ways to actually get themselves to practice on a regular basis is one of the hardest things.

We’ll read about it, watch a video, make a plan to do it every day, put it on our calendar, research similar things on the web… but actually doing it??? Slips through the cracks somehow.

💥 That’s Why This Challenge Exists

So when I put those two premises together—that we learn by practicing, and that we avoid practicing—that’s the reason for the challenge.

This challenge is designed to challenge you to actually do things. To actually get up off your butt, step away from the computer and your phone, and do something out in the world.

It doesn’t have to be big or even energetic or even outside… but to actually DO it.

So that you can experience the benefit of doing it. For yourself.

And when you experience that benefit, you will know for yourself—in a way you didn’t before—what’s possible for you.

💡 A Real-Life Example

You might’ve heard me mention one woman who wrote about an earlier challenge saying:

“I joined the course because I wanted to find my ‘happy.’ It’s no exaggeration to say that with the first exercise, Mary showed me where to look.”

Now, here’s the thing: Yes, I told her where to look. But the important part is—she did one of the exercises.

On the very first evening, she did an exercise designed to deliberately choose her point of view and mood, rather than just let her habitual reactions choose them for her.

And the very next morning, she woke up in a bad mood. But she remembered the exercise she had done the night before. And she realized—for the first time in her life—that maybe she could just shift her mood. Maybe she could deliberately find her “happy” in that moment.

And she did. And you can too.

🧬 Mini Geekage: How Practice Builds Your Brain

Now, some of you know I’m a geek. So I’m gonna do a little mini geekage here.

Every time you experience something for yourself, you literally build new neural pathways in your brain associated with that new understanding.

You’re building and hooking together neural networks—like plugging together strings of lights. And as you build these networks, they get stronger and stronger, and brighter and brighter.

When you incorporate more senses into an experience—sight, sound, touch, taste, smell, memory, imagination, internal visualization—and especially feelings of emotional and psychological well-being (interest, pleasure, delight, curiosity, pride, courage, accomplishment), those networks build faster.

Say it out loud? You build one strand.

Say it out loud and write it down? Now you’ve got two.

Say it out loud and incorporate lots of other senses? Now you’ve got many, many strands. A whole network.

And if you do it again the next day, and again the next day, your brain starts to prioritize it. It starts to say: “This matters.”

The networks you deliberately build lean your whole being into a new direction -- one that’s attuned to the things you want to experience.

So, that’s why we’re doing a 21-day challenge. We’re going to challenge ourselves to deliberately do things we choose consciously, and to build this momentum together.

🏀 Shooting Baskets

I want to use the metaphor of basketball.

There are lots of skills in the game of basketball—dribbling, defense, strategy—but for this challenge, let’s imagine we’re just going to practice shooting baskets for a while.

You aim. You shoot. You see what happens.

Sometimes the ball goes in with a satisfying swoosh. Sometimes it bounces around on the rim for a while, then either goes in or falls out. And sometimes you just miss the basket completely.

In the challenge our “basket” is a feeling.

The question we’ll be asking ourselves is: Did that practice make me feel a little better?

📈 What “Better” Feels Like

Now, “better” is an ever changing experience.

When you’re in the lower half of the emotional scale—feeling anxious, overwhelmed, sad, angry—better is going to feel like relief. A little less anxious. A little calmer. A softening. A little more room to breathe. Relief.

When you’re already in the upper half—feeling interested, hopeful, connected, or even just pretty okay—better is going to feel like an amplification of those feelings. More interested. More engaged. Maybe like a glow inside. Maybe excitement. Maybe confidence. And it will create new positive feelings. Interested, plus confident. Amused plus joyful.

So when we say feeling “better”, we’re not looking for a fixed feeling. We’re practicing moving in a direction.

So the question is: Did this make me feel a little better in some way? Less bad? More good?

I want to tell you that it’s entirely possible that this challenge could help you feel better every single day.

💖 Why Focus on Freedom, Love & Joy?

I decided to call this challenge the Freedom, Love and Joy Challenge, because sometimes it can be really hard to figure out what these big things like happiness or success feel like. Reaching for them can seem like such an on/off switch sometimes, am I happy, am I not happy? And they can feel too big of a leap from where we are.

So breaking them down into components can make it easier to figure out what's going on, and I have found these three, Freedom, Love and Joy work in a synergistic way together.

Together, Freedom, Love and Joy create a powerful trifecta.

I’ve found that holding them in awareness can support you in focusing on what you really want and can stop you from getting sidetracked by old habits, by others’ opinions, and just plain old fear.

Let me give you a few examples.

If you’re in a situation, and you’re trying to make decisions focused on love—but you’re missing a sense of freedom and joy— your choices can can start to feel like obligation.

If you’re trying to make decisions focused on freedom and joy—but missing love—it can feel shallow and disconnected. Like yeah, you might be doing what you want, but you’re not connected to what truly nourishes your soul.

If you’re focused on joy and love—but missing freedom—you might be having fun, you might be enjoying people’s company, but you can start to feel disconnected from your own creativity and truth.

And reaching for joy without freedom and love? That almost always fails. You can be in the happiest place in the world, and still feel like it’s just not working for you.

But perhaps the worst of all is focusing on freedom without adding in love and joy. That’s a really common scarcity mindset. It ends up being a recipe for fear and resentment—and leads to a lot of the aggression and hostility we’re seeing in the world.

But what I’ve seen, over and over, is that when you consciously include all three—Freedom, Love, and Joy—then an inner resilience, confidence, and feeling of happiness and well-being grows and grows.

🌟 Self FLaJ-Elation

So to be honest, I’ve been practicing Freedom, Love and Joy so much that I started calling it FLaJ. And putting FLaJ on everything!

When I got my new earbuds, and my phone asked me what I wanted to call them—I called them FLaJ. A recent password was FLAJ4ever. 😉

And in my ongoing groups, we started practicing Self FLaJ-Elation.

You know how people used to practice self-flagellation? Literally beating themselves with knotted ropes to demonstrate their unworthiness and sinfulness. 😬

And in the modern world, we tend to practice a version of this where we’re constantly beating ourselves up inside. 😪

Well, Self FLaJ-Elation is our chance to reclaim and transform that energy.

As we practice Freedom, Love and Joy, we build our inner resilience, our happiness, and our empowerment into an ever-growing feeling of Elation.

Elation goes beyond simple happiness. It’s a more profound and exhilarating feeling. It can involve a sense of hopefulness and confidence about the future. It may be accompanied by a feeling of energy and a desire to express joy.

Elation feels connected to our inner guidance. It’s a feeling of being lifted up, warm, connected, interested, loving, joyful—all mixed in with a kind of enlivened peace.

So that’s the plan.

We will practice Self FLaJ-Elation, by practicing Freedom, Love, and Joy—and through these practices, building this sense of Elation.

🌍 Is It Even Right to Be Happy Now?

A lot of people ask me, “How can I practice joy when there’s so much suffering in the world?”

And I get it. I really do.

As a therapist, I connect with people specifically when their lives are in crisis. As an empath, I often feel intense sorrow and compassion for what people are going through. And as a responsible human and a long-term activist, I want to do my part in creating a kinder world.

So I’ve sat with this question a lot. And here’s what I’ve seen—over and over again.

Helping people reconnect to whatever joy is available makes a difference in two important ways.

First, of course, it just lets you feel better for a while. Which is essential. You deserve that. Especially when things are hard.

But there’s a powerful bonus effect.

It empowers you to start seeing the world in terms of possibility. You start to notice more places where you can create change. And you find the inner resilience to actually do what’s important to you.

As Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

If we want to see joy, we must be joyful. If we want to see love, we must be loving.

Without love and joy, we can get mired in despair. With love and joy, we reconnect to possibility.

And that supports our freedom to create the world as we envision it.

FREEDOM, LOVE AND

JOY CHALLENGE

Challenge 1 Transcript

You are never behind.

You can’t get it wrong.

Freedom Love and Joy Challenge

Challenge 1 - Appreciation and Gratitude

Hello, my friends, and welcome to day two of our 21-day Freedom Love and Joy Challenge.

🧱 Prep Check

Before we go any further, I just want to check…

I trust that you have watched or listened to the recording of the Prep Day video and that you’ve put your scaffolding in place for the upcoming challenges—particularly in terms of getting your tracking system ready.

There is info in the prep day video that I'm going to be assuming you have from now on, and I will be asking you to use your tracking system starting today.

So if you haven't done that, please do that as soon as possible.

🚀 Challenge One Begins

With that said, let's go on.

Today I will introduce our first challenge, and then for the following three days, we will play around with it in our ACE days. So we have a total of four days allocated to this challenge, and that means we can do a lot.

This video will give you everything you need to get started, and then we will use the Communities App to expand on what we start today

💖 Challenge One: Appreciation & Gratitude

I'm starting with Appreciation and Gratitude because they are, in my opinion, both the gold standard and the low-hanging fruit of Blissipline. They are simultaneously the most effective tools I know of—and the easiest! So they have a really superb Joy-to-Effort ratio.

What I’ve discovered is when I deliberately practice Gratitude and Appreciation, I immediately start to perceive the shift to wellbeing. This is the shift I referred to yesterday, when I told you the story of my friend who was in an earlier challenge, and who woke up grumpy and was able to shift her mood.

As we experience those kinds of changes, we begin to have an ever-increasing ability to deliberately nudge our mood in the direction of better. So this is the immediate and ever-growing impact of practicing Gratitude and Appreciation. It helps us today, and it trains us to find it easier to make changes tomorrow.

And they also have a lot of other bonuses—they really enhance your life in a whole lot of other ways, too. There is tons and tons of research on this that has shown a huge range of benefits.

📚 Benefits of Gratitude

A quick search for the benefits of Gratitude yielded all these:

🌿 Mental & Emotional Benefits

Boosts happiness and life satisfaction Regular gratitude practice increases positive emotions and helps people savor good experiences.
Reduces stress, anxiety, and depression Gratitude can shift focus away from negative thoughts and foster a more optimistic mindset.
Improves self-esteem By focusing on what’s going well, people tend to compare themselves less with others.
Enhances resilience Grateful individuals are better equipped to cope with adversity and bounce back from challenges.

🧠 Cognitive & Relational Benefits

Strengthens relationships Expressing gratitude can deepen bonds and increase feelings of connection and trust.
Improves empathy and reduces aggression Grateful people are more likely to behave in prosocial ways, even when others behave less kindly.
Encourages prosocial behavior Gratitude fosters generosity, compassion, and a desire to help others.

🛌 Physical & Health Benefits

Improves sleep quality Gratitude journaling before bed has been linked to better and longer sleep.
Boosts immunity and heart health Studies suggest gratitude may reduce inflammation and improve cardiovascular health.
Promotes healthier habits Grateful people are more likely to engage in exercise and attend regular check-ups.

🧪 Keep It Simple

Now, although I am a geek and I love information and theory—and I will be happy to talk endlessly about that with you in the future—for this challenge, I just want to keep it super simple.

Don’t worry too much about the theory. And don’t feel like you have to believe anything I say. Just try stuff and see what happens.

You are going to become the expert in your experience. I will guide you in the direction of how to run your experiment, but you are going to make all the decisions and choices and discover the benefits.

🏀 Just Shoot the Basket

Remember, we're just shooting baskets here. All you’re going to do is pick up the ball and throw it and see if it goes through the hoop. And if it doesn't, no big deal! You can just try another way.

Okay?

🧭 The Empowerment Scale

I'd like to explain some differences between Gratitude and Appreciation, and for that, I'm going to refer to The Empowerment Scale.

I’ll explain this briefly, but because you’ve joined the Freedom, Love and Joy Challenge, you also have access to all the other materials you can see in the Blissipline Resource Center. One of those is an eight-week course called Building Your Bliss, where I talk endlessly about all this stuff and go into much more depth. So that will be there for you whenever you want it.

🙏💖 Gratitude vs. Appreciation on the Scale

Gratitude and Appreciation are similar, but they’re different in some ways that are very helpful to understand as a practitioner.

One difference is that they work on different parts of the Empowerment Scale. In general, you’ll find that Appreciation works really well when you’re on the upper half of the scale, while Gratitude is especially effective in moving you from the lower half to the upper half.

To explain the scale in as simple terms as possible.

The bottom level, number one, is where we are in our most disempowered state. This is where we feel despair, hopelessness, depression, and other really heavy, powerless feelings. And the scale is designed to show that we can feel it quite intensely, or we can feel it through a whole range of feelings, until it's sort of a mild feeling lurking in the background.

Area two is where we feel anger. It’s a little higher up the scale, because despair is more disempowered than anger. Anger is a little bit more empowered, because it’s energetic and inspired action, but it’s still very disempowered, because often that action doesn’t accomplish what you want and can be counterproductive. But still, it is more empowered, and it feels more empowered, and it's able to get you in motion.

And again, it’s has this range, so you can feel very, very intense rage, fading all the way to irritation, and even to a sort of mild annoyance in the background.

Area three is where we're in more of a blah phase. We're not angry, but we're frustrated and we're feeling vaguely hopeless, and maybe resigned.

And then we have this dotted line. This is the tipping point between the lower half and the upper half, or what I like to call between crappy and happy.

Above the line in Area 4, we have a shift into well-being. I like to characterize the shift from three to four as being from “oh, all right., whatever” (in a depressed voice), to “Oh all right, whatever” (in a kind of that’s fine voice).

So that's the shift. It's not a huge shift, but you can feel it when you tip yourself over the line.

So in Area four, we're in a state now where we're slightly more empowered, slightly connecting to possibility, slightly thinking, “well, things might suck, but I sort of feel like maybe there's something I can do about it,.”

As we practice our Blissiplines, we gradually move from four to five. Five is where we experience interest and curiosity and engagement. And again, we can have all kinds of degrees of interest in this.

And then six is where we move into a kind of flow state, where we feel in the flow of whatever we are doing in the moment. And it too has a range. Perhaps you’ve been in a super flow state where you have done something that you were surprised you could do!

This is a massively empowered state. It feels wonderful, and at the more intense levels, you can be really accomplishing a lot.

For example, I literally improvised in a live performance of an opera once, when one of the singers didn't show up. And the whole time I was singing, I was in this intense flow state, feeling completely guided.

Or we can also be just in a kind of a nice, gentle flow state, just peaceful.

📉 Lower Half of the Scale

Area 1: Despair, hopelessness, depression—heavy, powerless feelings
Area 2: Anger—more energetic, but still disempowered
Area 3: Blah phase—frustration, vague hopelessness, resignation

Then we hit the dotted line—between crappy and happy.

📈 Upper Half of the Scale

Area 4: Slight empowerment, possibility, “maybe I can do something”
Area 5: Interest, curiosity, engagement
Area 6: Flow state—peaceful or powerful, depending on intensity

🧘‍♀️ Why Gratitude Works Lower Down

As practitioners (ie people who are practicing this) it’s useful to understand how Appreciation and Gratitude differ in terms of where you are on the scale.

On the lower half of the scale, it is very hard to practice Appreciation. It’s not impossible—if you practice a lot, you can get better at it—but it’s difficult.

Gratitude is a little more accessible down there. Gratitude can work down there because it has within it a little bit of the darkness. For example, Gratitude can say things like, “Well, at least I’m not dead,” or “At least I can still walk.”

Gratitude can sound like grumpiness, but nonetheless, it is a shift toward feeling better. And so that’s why it’s accessible when you are on the lower half of the scale.

🏀 Micro-Shifts Matter

As you recall, we are working on feeling a little bit better in the moment. That’s it. That’s our “basket.”

So, every time you nudge just a little bit up—or a little bit to the right—on the Empowerment Scale, there’s a little feeling of relief.

When you're in despair, anger feels better.

When you're in anger, grumpiness feels better.

When you're in grumpiness, vague hopefulness feels better.

When you're in vague hopefulness, engagement and interest feels better.

When you're in engagement and interest, the flow state feels better.

So it’s helpful to remember that Gratitude is liable to be more available to us on the lower half of the scale than Appreciation is, and starting there, we can nudge ourselves upwards.

💡 Appreciation Is Lighter

Appreciation is a purer form of delight. Where Gratitude can have a little hint of what you’re lucky you don’t have—“I’m so grateful that’s over”—Appreciation has a lightness and a simplicity and can attach itself to the smallest things.

Gratitude vs. Appreciation

Aspect	Gratitude 🙏	Appreciation 💖
Tone	Humble, receptive	Warm, affirming
Focus	What was received or experienced	What is valued or admired
Emotion	Often tied to relief, awe, or thankfulness	Often tied to joy, admiration, or delight
Directionality	Often directed outward (to others, life)	Can be inward or outward
Context	Common in response to help or kindness	Common in noticing beauty, effort, or skill
Energetic feel	“I feel grateful for…”	“I appreciate that…”

💡 Appreciation on the Upper Half

Appreciation works on the upper half of the scale to move us into a kind of lighter relationship with life. We can appreciate almost anything.

For example, I have this snow globe right here, and look—it’s snowy owls on snowy trees with snow falling. Isn’t that great? And I love that it’s all white, with the white snow and the white owls and the white trees. I just think it’s so beautiful. And I love that the white snowflakes also have a slightly iridescent quality.

I don’t know if you can see that on the video, but they flicker with an iridescence.

So I can appreciate this with a sort of purity and simplicity and lightness. I’m not particularly grateful for this snow globe. But I can appreciate it so easily.

I’ll be honest—because I’ve practiced this so much, I actually could generate a feeling of Gratitude for this snow globe. And the more you practice, the more you can do both. But for now, it’s helpful to understand the discernment, and choose the thing that works best.

🧭 How Do You Know Which Works Best?

This is where it becomes your experiment. You’re going to play around with this, and find what works best for you.

Truly, there’s no way that works for everyone. In fact we’re all a little weird.

But I’d like to just offer you this gem: The word weird is derived from an Old English term that referred to having the power to change fate.

So let your weird flag fly and let’s see how freedom, love, and joy inform our Gratitude and Empowerment Challenge.

🕊️ Freedom

I want to affirm: you like what you like.

Humans have a very strange way of yucking other people’s yums. And in fact, the reason I even know that phrase is because I yucked my niece’s yum. And she said, “Don’t yuck my yum.” And I thought, “Oh, right. I did yuck your yum.” It was a really clarifying phrase.

This was decades ago. She’s in her 40s now and she was a child then, so clearly it really stuck with me. She made me see how unnecessary and ungenerous it was.

But people do it.

And then we start to develop our own strange way of pre-yucking our own yums, saying things like, “I like this thing. I don’t know, maybe I’m weird.”

So what I want to affirm is:

You like what you like.
You love what you love.
You enjoy what you enjoy.
You hate what you hate.
You think what’s gross to you is gross.

I think there are certain foods that are gross that other people pay a lot of money for and rave over. I’m not going to tell you what they are because I don’t want to yuck your yum. That’s just me. That’s just you.

You have the freedom to appreciate what you want to appreciate.

So don’t try to gaslight yourself. Don’t try and make yourself appreciate something that doesn’t actually feel that good to you.

Furthermore, you have the freedom to change your mind and choose a new response.

You have freedom to make a choice different from your conditioning. So just because you’ve always felt one way, maybe you don’t anymore. Or maybe you never did… it was just the expected response.

So as you’re doing the Gratitude and Appreciation Challenge, try to catch when you’re making yourself wrong, and step into the Freedom of simply being who you are.

💗 Love

Love is going to be a fun thing to pay attention to here.

We use the word love in a lot of ways, and I encourage you to let yourself discover what and how you love.

For example, I love this little plastic statue of Mr. Rogers. I appreciate all kinds of things about it. It’s quirky, it’s fun. It plays little sayings. So I kind of love all of that, in that it generates within me a feeling of delight.

But it also was a gift from a person dear to me, and with whom I have a very long history. So this little plastic toy also invokes that for me. And that’s a very deep love.

And it also reminds me this amazing man and the depth of his love for children and his humanity. So that’s another way that my Appreciation of it invokes love.

So as you play around with Appreciation and Gratitude, it will be fun to be curious about the feelings of love your practice evokes.

🌈 Joy

And finally, joy.

I think in this challenge, you will find that joy is the thing that slowly increases as you practice.

If you practice for a few minutes, you might feel a shift of joy beginning to glow within your heart. If you practice longer, it might expand to include your whole torso and your head.

Practicing Gratitude and practicing Appreciation are the ways you are going to make this your own.

In fact, I dare you to!

🎯 Introducing the D.A.R.E. Protocol

Ok, now you’re really getting a sense of how hokey I am! But Blissipline should be fun, right?

To make this a real experiment that simultaneously builds new neural pathways and strengthens your awareness of what works for you, I would like you to use the DARE protocol for all of your experiments.

DARE = Decide · Act · Reflect · Enter

🧭 1. Decide

Choose a challenge option based on what feels good to you or what appeals to you for some reason. That’s the only criterion. Remember, we’re just throwing the ball at the basket… no biggy. And if this doesn’t work out for some reason, no problem—you’re going to choose another soon enough.

🚀 2. Act

Actually do it! No big agenda… just aim and throw. But give it a good try. Invest in the action.

🧘 3. Reflect

Stop and notice how it feels to have done it. This is super important… this observing and noting BUILDS NEW POSITIVE NEURAL NETWORKS. (Sorry to shout, but this step is easy to skip and it's SO IMPORTANT!)

Do you feel a little better? Yes, great! No, fine! (We’re going to miss the basket sometimes… that’s how we know we are growing.)

What else do you notice? Did you learn anything?

✍️ 4. Enter

Enter this new data in your tracking system. Be as detailed as you can, paying particular attention to what you did and how it affected you. If you don’t have your log with you, make a note on your phone and put it in later. I know it’s tempting to skip this, but I suspect there will come a day when you’ll be glad you did! That day might even be tomorrow: “What was it that worked… oh, right!”

Remember, we are training ourselves into new ways of being. Tracking is important. And remember—come and share it in the Community chat, so we can support one another and build our momentum together!

So let’s get started.

🌟 Appreciation & Gratitude Challenge Options

Here are some suggestions for how to practice Appreciation and Gratitude. Some options are super simple and easy to do. Some are pretty involved. Choose something from this list, or make up your own. It’s your adventure!

🕵️ On-the-Fly Treasure Hunt

Stop whenever you remember, and look around you.
Ask yourself, “What can I appreciate or enjoy in some way?”
When you find something, really give yourself the chance to take it in.
Take a few breaths while noticing the details and appreciating anything about it that is cool or beautiful or amazing or any other lovely quality.
Bonus endorphins for saying these things out loud.
Take a little longer with this than is your first impulse. Maybe just one more breath.
Now pause, and check in. Notice what you are feeling. Bask a little if you can.
Be sure to make some notes about this.

Pro tip:

Create reminders to stop and look around

A really nice-sounding alert on your phone
Post-it notes

🙏 On-the-Fly Pause for Gratitude

Stop whenever you remember, and close your eyes.
Reflect on what’s going on, what has been happening, what is going to be happening—and find something you’re grateful for.
When you think of something, really give yourself the chance to think about all the ways you are grateful for it.
Bonus endorphins for saying these things out loud.
Take a little longer with this than is your first impulse. Maybe just one more breath.
Now pause, and check in. Notice what you are feeling. Bask a little if you can.
Be sure to make some notes about this.

📅 Planned Gratitudes & Appreciations

Pick a specific thing from the list below, and decide when you’re going to do it.
Pro tip: Put it on your calendar
Then actually do it!
Remember to do all four steps of the DARE:

Decide what to do
Act on it
Reflect on it
Enter it in your tracking system

🧠 Practice Menu

Here are a few ways to practice gratitude and appreciation. Some take a few moments. Some are more involved.

Do whatever appeals to you. Modify these in whatever way you want. Make up your own. You are the boss of you.

Call a friend and tell them something you appreciate about them
Call a friend and tell them something you are grateful for about them
Take a discovery walk

Go out and look for 5 things you’ve never noticed before
Turn off your phone, so you can really be present

Set an alarm to remind you once an hour to stop and look around the room and pick one thing to appreciate

Even the smallest thing, like a paper clip, can be appreciated
Let this become a little ritual that keeps bringing you back to yourself

Arrange to do an appreciation rampage with someone else

Connect in person, or on the phone or online
Each of you take two minutes to talk about things you appreciate
Go into lots of detail

Tell a stranger something you appreciate about them

Easy choices: something they clearly chose, like a bright scarf or cool boots
Remember: you are practicing appreciation, not gaslighting. Only do it if you actually feel it.
Notice what it feels like to honor your truth

Express gratitude to a cashier or another service person, and specialize it just a little

Look at them and smile as you say something specific:

“I really appreciate you helping me with this.”
“It’s so nice to have someone so pleasant check out my groceries.”
“Thank you so much for taking the time to help me today.”

Before you go to sleep, write down something you’re grateful for that happened today.

Maybe even put a little journal by your bed and make this a bedtime ritual

Write down something you’re proud of. Appreciate yourself in writing.
Be polite to “Siri” or whatever digital assistant you use—and notice how that feels
Go to a window and look at the sky and breathe, appreciating the movement or stillness you see. Breathe and take a little extra time
Put your hand on a tree and appreciate that it is quite literally in this moment providing you with oxygen that is essential to your life.

Deliberately breathe out some carbon dioxide for the tree

Close your eyes, put your hand on your heart, and say:

“You’re doing a good job. I’m proud of you.”

Take a smile break 😊

Just stop, and close you eyes and smile and breath a couple of conscious breaths

Step outside at night and look up at the stars. If it’s cold, put on some nice warm clothes and spend five or ten minutes just being quiet with the night sky
Walk through a store you like and just marvel at the abundance. Think about how amazing it is that you have access to so many kinds of food
While you're washing the dishes, stop and take a moment to feel how nice it is to have your hands in warm water.
In the shower, take a minute to simply stand under the flow of the water, feeling it relaxing your head and neck and shoulder. Think about how amazing it is that you have hot water available at your finger tips.
Attach little poems of mindfulness to daily activities

Drinking Tea

This cup of tea in my two hands,
mindfulness held perfectly.
My mind and body dwell
in the very here and now.

Washing Your Hands

Water flows over these hands.
May I use them skillfully
to preserve our precious planet.

Beginning to Eat

With the first taste, I offer joy.
With the second, I help relieve the suffering of others.
With the third, I see others’ joy as my own.
With the fourth, I learn the way of letting go.

For more of these search for Gathas, Thich Nhat Hahn

As you can see there are so many things!

And finally, I’d like to share a really amazing example of appreciation. Here’s a story I came across this week.

🕵️ Field Agent for the Bureau of Overlooked Virtues

For three Thursdays in a row, something peculiar happened to me on my walk to work. I’d be trudging along, coffee in hand, mentally preparing for the day, when a man on a bicycle would glide past.

He wasn’t just any man. He was impeccably dressed in a vibrant, mismatched suit—think a purple blazer with green trousers. And as he passed, without slowing down, he would call out a single, hyper-specific compliment.

The first time, it was: “Astounding posture! You carry the weight of the world with remarkable spinal integrity!”

He was gone before I could even process it. I spent the rest of the day standing a little taller.

The second Thursday, I saw him coming. He locked eyes with me for a fraction of a second and declared: “A truly formidable coffee-cup grip! Unwavering!”

I looked down at my hand. I did, in fact, have a very secure hold on my latte.

The third time, I was ready. I saw the flash of color turning the corner. My heart beat a little faster. What would it be today? He cycled past, his voice clear as a bell: “Exquisite rhythm in your walking gait! A metronome of purpose!”

And he was gone.

I was, by now, completely invested. Who was this man? Why was he doing this? He wasn’t flirting—the compliments were too bizarre, too clinical, and he never stopped. He was like a wildlife commentator praising the unique traits of a passing animal.

I started to notice a pattern. He wasn't just targeting me. I saw him do it to others. He told a construction worker he had a "commanding and efficient whistle." He told a woman waiting for a bus that her "sigh contained multitudes." He was a Compliment Guerrilla, launching precision strikes of positivity before vanishing into the urban jungle.

Last Thursday, I saw him chain his bike up outside a nondescript office building. My curiosity got the better of me. I followed him inside, pretending to be on a phone call.

He walked into a small, dimly lit office with a frosted glass door. The plaque on the wall read: "Bureau of Overlooked Virtues - Appointments Encouraged, Walk-Ins Welcomed."

I pushed the door open. The man was sitting behind a desk, typing on an old typewriter. He looked up, not at all surprised to see me.

"Ah," he said. "The metronome. I wondered if you'd stop by."

"What... is this?" I asked, gesturing to the office.

He smiled warmly. "It's a regulatory body. We've identified a critical deficit in the recognition of minor, non-monetizable skills. The steadfast way someone holds an umbrella. The patience exhibited while a slow dog sniffs a lamppost. These are the virtues that hold society together, and they are going entirely unacknowledged."

"My job," he continued, "is field work. I gather data and distribute commendations. Would you like to file a report?"

He slid a form across the desk. It had fields like: "Observed Subject," "Time/Location," and "Virtue in Question (Please Be Specific)."

I stood there, stunned. Then I thought of my barista, who always places the cup lid on with a perfect, satisfying click. I thought of the security guard in my building who has a uniquely graceful way of pointing people toward the elevator.

I sat down and filled out three forms.

Now, I'm a field agent. I don't have a bike or a colorful suit yet, but I have a notepad. Yesterday, I told a stranger at the park that I admired the "authoritative yet compassionate way you threw that stick for your dog."

The look of confusion, followed by a slow-dawning, genuine smile, was better than any thank you.

The world is full of invisible experts, masters of tiny, perfect things. My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to see them. And to tell them.

Keep your ears open. You might get a commendation.

I found this story here: https://www.facebook.com/animactimes/posts/pfbid02jQjJtLsCdGKvivX287MrTLZ7hhKwwRz8QCpD9a4bAUJyTEYwCAqYg6h5GohDsKJel

Let’s go out and explore our own Freedom, Love and Joy!

FREEDOM, LOVE AND

JOY CHALLENGE

Challenge 2 Transcript

You are never behind.

You can’t get it wrong.

Freedom Love and Joy Challenge

Challenge 2 - Adapting Blissipline to your Day

Hello my friends, and welcome to Challenge 2!

So… how was Challenge 1? Did you try stuff? How did it go?

🧡 Challenge 1 Recap

The challenge was to deliberately stop and practice some kind of Appreciation and Gratitude, then notice its effect on you and make some kind of record of it.

I also introduced the D.A.R.E. process, so let me recap that:

🌀 D.A.R.E. Process

Decide • Act • Reflect • Enter

🧠 D is for Decide

You decide to do something. This is the moment of coming back into awareness—stepping out of unconscious, habituated behavior—and making a new choice.

🚀 A is for Act

Once you’ve made the choice—“Ok, I’m going to do this”—then you actually do it. In Challenge 1, the act was some form of gratitude or appreciation. There was a long list of options in the transcript, and you can always be creative about making your own. Whatever you choose, the point is to actually do it.

🔍 R is for Reflect

This is where we notice its effect on us. Reflection brings the experience into conscious awareness. It supports you in doing it again in the future, because you’ve brought awareness into the cognitive part of the mind. You’ve consciously noticed the cause and effect between your actions and your feelings. You’ve made it more real for you.

📝 E is for Enter

You enter the data into your tracking system—whatever that is. Writing it down helps build this into your life as a pattern. It increases the number of senses you’ve assigned to the experience and builds more neural pathways.

And a bonus: you’ll be able to come back to this document over and over again. Believe me, people I’ve worked with have pulled out their tracking documents years later and said, “Oh my gosh, I just remembered doing this thing we talked about all those years ago—and it’s really helping.”

Creating your tracking document moves it into your personal arena of skill and empowerment. It’s no longer just something you did once and had a nice experience— it’s something you can return to deliberately.

🎉 After You DARE… ACE It!

You’ve done the Act part already—so now come post in the chat, Celebrate yourself and Encourage one another.

There have already been so many beautiful entries in the chat, and I’d like to read you one of them because it demonstrates so well the power of appreciation and gratitude:

“Yesterday I was on my way from one music function to another, driving along a route I'd never taken before with winding roads and rolling hills. I love to take a new route—it makes me feel wild & free. It was a perfect autumn day, with the sun shining and illuminating all the colors on the leaves. I got to see marvelous views of valleys and hills, vibrant colors of leaves, and I was in a great state of joy already, when something awesome happened. I came around a bend and a farm truck pulling a hay wagon had just pulled onto the road in front of me, causing me to slow down almost to a stop. My knee-jerk reaction was to be grumpy and worry about being late to my next function. But I caught myself quickly and thought, ‘How can I appreciate this moment?’ I realized that I had plenty of time and could afford to slow down. So I accepted it and started to notice things. Slowing the car down made the sun’s warmth better penetrate the glass of my window, and I basked in it as it shone on my face. I felt relief and peace and was very appreciative of the moment. AND THEN—as the truck picked up speed, all these tiny little hay particles spiraled up into the air, flying out of the hay wagon, flickering in the sunlight like sparkly confetti. They danced their way into the sky and surrounded my car as we drove along. I giggled with delight! I felt like it was a moment of celebration for choosing to be grateful instead of grumpy. And it felt really, really good. :)”

✨ What This Story Shows Us

This beautifully illustrates that moment of choice— stopping the habitual, knee-jerk reaction with the question, “How can I appreciate this moment?”

What I particularly appreciate is that she realized she actually had plenty of time. So the worry about being late wasn’t based in reality. This happens often—we discover that our fretful thoughts (“Oh no, I’m going to be late”) aren’t actually true.

Then the act of looking for things to appreciate made her aware of so many beautiful things, and ultimately grew into this magical moment with the glittering confetti of hay particles.

We can see how the practice took a moment that could have been anxiety-provoking and frustrating— and transformed it into delight. This is a huge leap from way down on the scale to way high… and this is what’s possible.

And then, she wrote about it and shared it with others— solidifying the experience, clarifying the power of choosing, and building new neural pathways.

🌈 The Heart of Blissipline

The point of any Blissipline is to pause in the forward momentum of unconscious, habituated behaviors— and make a choice. A choice in the direction of bliss.

In this case, the choice to try to find something to appreciate. That’s the Blissipline. That’s the discipline of bliss.

So that’s the Challenge 1 recap 💫

🌿 Challenge 2: Adapting Blissipline to Your Day

Practicing appreciation and gratitude is, as I mentioned, both the low-hanging fruit and the gold standard of Blissipline.

🍎 Low-hanging fruit because it’s so easy to reach for—so many times a day! Every time you remember, you can do it.
🏅 Gold standard because the phrase, Gold Standard, refers to the best available method for accomplishing something. In my experience—and in a ton of research—it’s the simplest, most accessible, and most effective tool we have for cultivating happiness.

So of course, we’re not going to stop practicing gratitude and appreciation. We’re going to weave it into the following challenges so it becomes both a practice and a stance. The more we practice it, the more it becomes a point of view… a way of life.

🔍 What Challenge 2 Is About

Challenge 2 is about making your practice appropriate for the moment you’re in. In any moment, we can explore how Gratitude and Appreciation might shift things, and we can also look at what kind of concrete changes we might make.

So let’s focus our attention on our lives for a little bit.

Life can be very, very difficult. Everyone who’s been alive for any length of time knows that. There are periods when you’re really struggling with something extraordinarily hard.

And then life can be magnificent. Everyone knows that too. There have been magnificent moments in your life—and we want those to continue indefinitely—but that’s not how life works.

And most of life is sort of banal. Sometimes it seems like it’s just getting up and doing what you have to do to keep food on the table, keep your house clean, maintain your personal hygiene enough not offend people. And seen that way, it can seem both boring and a struggle.

Blissipline meets us at each of these three junctures:

When life is really difficult → it helps us feel better.
When life is really good → it helps us be present and enhance it with awareness and mindfulness
When life is just happening → it helps us notice what’s available to appreciate, and gently shift things toward what we prefer.

📝 Instructions for Challenge 2

So as always, we have the challenge introduction day, and three following ACE days to practice and deepen your experience and your personal understanding.

You’ll be using the tracking docs to help bring skillful awareness to the contents of your day.

Step 1: Making a List of Typical Activities

Today, you’ll start by writing a list of things you typically do.

My list might look like:

Wake up and snooze the alarm
Eventually get up
Make coffee
Meditate with Anna
Walk the dogs
Go out to my office
Look at my schedule and make my Daily Compass plan
Etc…

Just write whatever comes to mind. You can always add more later.

Step 2: Notice How these Activities Feel

Go down the list again and note how each activity tends to make you feel:

⬆️ Up arrow → things that uplift or nourish you
⬇️ Down arrow → things that deplete or depress you
➖ Dash → things that feel neutral
⬆️⬇️ Mixed arrow → things that are sometimes nourishing, sometimes depleting
(or make up your own system)

Step 3: Explore Possibilities for Change

Take one more pass down the list and ask yourself:

For anything with a ⬇️ down arrow, how can I change this?

Can I do it differently?
Can I shift my attitude about it?
Can I change how or where I do it to make it a little better?

For anything with an ⬆️ up arrow, how can I enhance this?

Can I do it more or longer?
Can I change how or where I do it to make it even better?

Make some notes about your ideas in the third column

🛏️ Example: Snoozing the Alarm

For example, on my list I had: Wake up, and snooze the alarm

For years this was a ⬇️ for me. Every morning I’d wake up grumpy. Then I had a lightbulb moment: What if I used the snooze to wake up slowly and enjoy the extra sleep?

So I started setting my alarm 18 minutes early. So if I needed to get up at 7, I’d set it for 6:42.

When the alarm went off, I’d snooze it and fall back to sleep. Then the alarm would go off again at 6.51, and again I’d snooze it, but this time I’d probably just doze, and by the time it went off at 7, I would be ready to wake up. This really worked for me!

Then I found a CD alarm clock, and I found the most wonderful recording of some monks chanting, and I had that playing super softly, and I would let that wake me up slowly. I loved it so much. By the time I got out of bed, I had already started my day off kindly and with a pleasant experience.

Now let me be clear… this might not be a Blissipline for you. My yum might be your yuck and vice versa. But this is an illustration of how awareness and conscious choosing helped me take something that was a down arrow and make it into an up.

Again, the point of any Blissipline is to pause in the forward momentum of unconscious, habituated behaviors and make a choice in the direction of bliss. ✨

So making that list is today’s Challenge.

📊 ACE Days and Daily Sections

Then for the ACE days, you’ll see on the tracking document, the day is divided up into sections. We’re going to start paying attention and noticing how different parts of the day are calling for different Blissiplines. 🧭

I think the simplest way to divide the day is:

☀️ Start-of-day practices: Whenever you wake up. Could be morning, could be evening if you work nights. Could even be after a nap.
🌤️ Chugging-along practices: The main body of the day, when you’re doing stuff, accomplishing things, or resting, playing, or working.
🌙 Wrapping-up practices: The wind-down toward sleep.

This is the simplest way, but it could also be broken into smaller cycles, depending on your day. If you work a strange shift, or have very different parts of your day, adapt this to work for you.

🧘‍♀️ Mini Pause Ritual

Now I know we have busy lives, so please don’t drive yourself crazy, but I’m inviting you to begin to stop and notice what the different sections of your day are calling for.

When you can, take a moment to yourself, away from other people if possible, and close your eyes, and put your hand on your heart, and just breathe for a few seconds. Maybe three breaths or so.

Then check in with yourself.

“What is this moment calling for?”
“What do I need or want right now?”
“What’s important to me?”

Sit and ponder for a bit, and see what comes up.

Then look at whatever is up next in your (quite possibly very busy) day and see how you feel about it.

Does it feel like an up arrow? A down arrow? A dash?

How does you awareness of what this moment is calling for change anything?

And then ask yourself if you can nudge this in the direction of better. Better, as in less yucky, or better as in more yummy.

How can you bring Gratitude or Appreciation to enhance the moment? And what can you change in more concrete ways?

💥 I DARE You to Take It All the Way

And then… I DARE you to take it all the way through the process!

Decide what you’re going to do…
Act on your decision…
Reflect on the way it affected you…
Enter it into your tracking system.

So here we are… doing the Blissipline: Taking that pause in the forward momentum of your habituated activity, and making a choice in the direction of bliss. 🌈

⚡ It’s a Challenge—But I Think You’re Up For It

This does take a lot more attention than you might find easy. That’s why this is a CHALLENGE.

And of course, you’re not going to do this forever!! Just for a few days, so it can break you out of some old patterns. So I encourage you to give this a good try.

🕊️ Gentle Reminders

And remember: You are never behind! ⏳

If you can do this challenge, plus the three ACE days in the next four days—GREAT! If it takes you five days, a week, however long—GREAT!

✅ You Can’t Get This Wrong

Why? Two reasons:

It’s personal to you. Your yum is your yum. If you love scallops and I think scallops are gross, neither of us is wrong. We just like what we like.
It’s an experiment. The whole point is to try things and discover what works. And on the way to discovering what works, we might spend a lot of time discovering what doesn’t.

🏀 Just Like Shooting Baskets

Remember, it’s like shooting baskets. You toss the ball at the hoop and see what happens. It goes in, or it doesn’t. You discover something. No biggie.

Even if you’re not very good at it today, you’ll get better—because practicing works.

And if you get really good at shooting baskets, you might get fancy— Try it with your eyes closed, one-handed, backwards, while someone’s tackling you, even! Just try stuff.

🌟 You Deserve to Feel Better

You really can develop the ability to feel better under many circumstances! Are you beginning to see it for yourself?

You deserve to. You get to.

In fact, I DARE you to!

Ok, it’s my one dumb pun, but you might try saying it yourself:

“Self, I dare you to find a way to feel better!” 💬

FREEDOM, LOVE AND

JOY CHALLENGE

Challenge 3 Transcript

You are never behind.

You can’t get it wrong.

Freedom Love and Joy Challenge

Challenge 3

Deepening and Strengthening Your Practice

Hey my friends. Welcome to Challenge Three!

If you are here, that means that for Challenge 1 you have spent three or more days deliberately practicing appreciation and gratitude, watching their effect on yourself, and then noting that somewhere—sharing it in your notes or in the group.

And that also means that for Challenge 2 you have made a list of your activities, looked at it carefully to see what is nourishing and depleting, broken your day into sections, and then spent at least three days deliberately looking at specific events of your day and trying to shift them. You’ve noticed the effect on you and recorded it in your tracking documents.

So if you have done that, you should have begun to see where you have some power over your happiness and well-being. Maybe a lot, maybe a little—but some. Some connection between cause and effect. “I notice when I do this, it makes me feel better.”

If you haven’t had that experience of noticing you have some capacity to deliberately shift your mood, and you have done the three days of practice for each challenge, then please email me, and let’s try and figure out what’s happening: [email protected]

You are welcome to go on, but please do reach out and let me help you figure out how to access these shifts in feeling.

So first, to all of you—I want to say congratulations on doing those two challenge days, plus six ACE days. That’s so great! Well done! You have completed the foundational setup for this challenge really working for you.

As you've begun to experience that capacity for changing how you feel for the better, and to notice how you can cultivate well-being both by shifting your perspective AND by changing your circumstances, you're beginning to understand a little more about how you can be in the driver’s seat of your life.

Now, what happens a lot of times is we'll have an insight like that and it'll feel great and profound, and then it slips and gets washed away in the complexity of our ongoing, complicated, demanding lives—where lots of other people have opinions and thoughts about what we should be doing with our time.

So Challenge 3 is designed to stabilize your capacity to return back to this again and again and again and again and again.

🌀 The Arc of the 21-Day Challenge

Before we go on, I’m going to tell you what the next two challenges will be because I think it will be helpful to understand the arc of the 21-day challenge.

There are five challenges in all.

The first two each had a very specific function of empowering you here and now.
This third challenge is going to take those two areas of growth and create a foundation to support your success in…
The fourth and fifth challenges, which expand into Your larger life.

So that’s the larger picture of the 21-day arc, and let me go into a little more detail.

In Challenge 1, we practiced the gold standard and the low-hanging fruit of Blissipline: appreciation and gratitude. We began to see how making a deliberate choice of choosing a specific skillful behavior (namely practicing gratitude or appreciation) changed how we felt. Genuinely.

Then in Challenge 2, we took a specific and concrete look at our actual day, bringing our skillfulness to bear on individual moments and seeing how we might be able to change them to improve the quality of our lives. What we began to notice is that there are all these little pockets of choice and empowerment that we've been ignoring, and that by paying attention in this very deliberate way—asking, “Does this activity nourish or deplete me? And how can I change it to make it more nourishing?”—we can change the tone and color of our day.

There's a quote I love by Annie Dillard, where she says, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”

When I first heard that quote, I experienced it as very sobering. That little “of course” in the middle of the sentence felt like a wake-up call. At the time, that was not good news. But it encouraged me to begin to be willing to change my days as a tool in changing my life.

And so with these first two challenges, we've done two very concrete tools for changing your days—your right-here, right-now experience of how your life is.

This is a foundational point for changing larger parts of your life in ways that you want—to experience greater Freedom in honoring what you want, to experience greater Love in connection with what you're doing with your days, the people you're spending them with, the things you're doing—and to experience the Joy that grows out of living a life characterized more and more by freedom and love.

🛠️ Building the Foundation

So now in Challenge 3, we're going to build a more stable foundation so that this empowerment can become more and more available to you on all kinds of days—whether they're good days or hard days.

And then with that foundation in place, we're going to go on to Challenges 4 and 5. These challenges will rely on your ability to stop and address your point of view and step back and take a more empowered relationship to what you are doing.

You do not have to MASTER these skills before you go on to Four and Five, but you do need to have experienced them. (And ideally to have made notes about them that you can come back to in the future.)

Challenge 4 will be about reconnecting with your dreams and desires—reconnecting with the things that you care about, that you want, including the things that you don't necessarily believe at this point you can do or have. Reconnecting with those desires, and then getting into alignment with them, requires that we have a certain amount of stability—that we can't just be knocked off our intentions by a negative thought. And so that's why it's so important that we have Challenges 1, 2, and 3 under our belt.

Then Challenge 5 is going to be reconnecting with your inner guidance. This is where we touch into the enormous power within us that supports every aspect of our creative lives. Your inner knowing, clarity, wisdom, and solidity is a resource you can tap into—and in fact, you can rest in.

Gaining skill in the first four challenges will put you in a position to connect with this deep, natural great peace in ways that are much easier than you might think.

Now, I want to be really clear. In 21 days, you don't change your whole life and just wake up enlightened and fixed.

That is not how things work.

But what you might do in 21 days is develop some powerful new skills and resources, and experience enough success to keep you encouraged to move forward on your journey.

And that is not only possible—it’s very achievable here.

🚀 On to Challenge 3

As I mentioned, Challenge 3 is designed to stabilize your foundation for Blissipline. In order to do that, we are going to use these next few days to strengthen and ground the skills you learned in Challenges 1 and 2.

For the ACE days, we are going to create a framework for the day, starting with a morning practice to set you up for a good day and to reconnect you with your intentions and your empowerment.

Then after the morning ritual, you’ll take a minute to look ahead at what your day holds and think about how you can amplify well-being the way you did in Challenge 2.

And then, I'm going to invite you to double down (or triple or even quadruple down) on the appreciation and gratitude practices throughout your day. If you did it once or twice a day before, make an intention to do it four or five times a day for these three ACE days. In fact you could easily do it 30 or 40 times in a day once you’re in the flow. Do five while you’re in the grocery. Do five while you are driving. Do one every time you talk to someone. Make a point of stopping and checking: What can I appreciate or be grateful for right here, right now? I highly recommend you stop and appreciate the sky several times. This can be very pleasant—both grounding and uplifting.

And at the end of the day, as always, make some notes in your tracking document to support the integration of this experience and your ability to come back to it.

As you can see, I’m inviting you to really lean in on Challenge 3, because this is where you can build the muscle that will support you in staying connected to yourself when life is throwing you curveballs.

Let me remind you—this is only for three days! So we’re not talking about a huge commitment here. And if you have a day where there is no space for you to add anything, then just skip it and do the next ACE day tomorrow.

🛋️ The Story of the Sofa

Let me tell you the story of the sofa to illustrate the point. I started doing CrossFit some years ago, and I was really enjoying it. I actually joined a challenge for people over 50, and because it was a challenge, I’m pretty sure I did more than I would have done otherwise. I went three days a week for six or eight weeks. Day by day, I got stronger and stronger, and I started noticing things that had been hard getting easier. One of my first clues was when I went to buy a case of beer, and without even thinking, I just picked it up with one arm instead of two! So that kind of cracked me up—that my first concrete evidence of fitness was finding it easier to pick up a case of beer. 😂

But it really became clear one afternoon, when I needed to move a wicker couch out of my office. It wasn’t that heavy, just awkward, because it was long, and I was able to maneuver it through the door. Then I started carrying it to the house, kind of staggering, because of the awkward shape. Suddenly I had this idea, and without really thinking about it, I flipped it up over my head.

I was kind of stunned because I could actually hold it up above my head with ease and carry it like a canoe, extending out in front of me and behind me. I realized the reason I could do that was not only were my arms strong, but my shoulders were strong, and my torso was strong, and my legs were strong—everything was strong. In that moment, I could do with ease something I'd never been able to do before, because of my practicing.

I could tell you a million similar stories of how Blissipline helped me become strong emotionally, but they’re a lot less dramatic! Most of them are along the lines of “this thing happened, and I didn’t get upset!”—which is a pretty boring story! But even though these aren’t such interesting stories, I can tell you their impact on my life is profound and wonderful.

So that's why I'm inviting you to lean in for three days. What I'm offering is a possibility for you: that if, just for three days, you will really diligently practice Blissipline in this particular form, you will build some strength that will show up in some surprising way for you.

And as I said, if you can't do it three days in a row, just skip a day—but I do invite you to challenge yourself to actually do the whole process for three days.

You know, I didn't choose the word Blissipline randomly. It does have an element of discipline. There is a way in which you bring a new deliberateness and awareness, and you might have to overcome some habitual patterns or push yourself to do something unfamiliar. But Blissipline differs from discipline in that every moment of it is designed to help you feel better right away. There’s no sense that you need to punish yourself or struggle so that one day down the road, you'll feel better.

I wouldn’t have stuck with CrossFit if it had been like that. But I loved that class. I had a great teacher (Thank you, Diane!) and there was great camaraderie in the class, and it was really fun. And so even though I was exerting myself, it was less like work and more like being a kid again. So let yourself be a little kid about this—doing this challenge less in the “I must succeed” way, and more in the “let me see what I can figure out” way.

Remember, just shooting baskets. No big deal. Experimenting without pressure, knowing there’s no right or wrong way to try it.

🌅 Crafting a Morning Ritual or Process

So first, let's build your morning ritual, and let’s make sure it is grounded in freedom, love, and joy.

Freedom is really, really, really, really important—and quite simple. You get to do whatever you want to do.
Love means you're practicing this in loving support of all the happiness you would like to have, for all the struggles you would like to be free from, for all the sadness and pain that you would like to be relieved of. So rather than coming from a desire to improve yourself, I invite you to come from a desire to feel better and enjoy your life more. That’s a really valuable distinction.
Joy means listening for what is calling to you. It might involve playfulness or it might involve quietness. Only you know what feels joyful to you.

Whatever you come up with, I encourage you to keep coming back to freedom, love, and joy as you are crafting your morning practice.

I suggest a simple three-part structure:

A love letter to yourself
A presencing practice
Making a plan and an intention for the day

It takes a lot longer to talk about it than to do it, so even though there’s a lot of info here, it’s just offering many options. When we get to the end, I’ll talk about how to fit this into your (no doubt full and busy) life for the ACE days.

For now, let’s just craft the three sections.

💌 Part One – Your Love Letter to Yourself

The love letter is a way to start your day with kindness and encouragement. Write yourself a note that says things that would feel nice if someone else wrote it to you. I strongly encourage you to start with the words “Dear” or “Dearest” or “Beloved” or some similar word, plus your name. So I might say, “Dearest Mary.” If that feels too weird, feel free to say something like, “Hey,” or some other casual greeting—“Hey Mary.” Whatever feels right to you. But I encourage this phrasing, so that you know you are speaking to yourself.

Here are two examples. One very short, and a long one that I wrote some time ago. You can write whatever you want. Feel free to take one of these and modify it, or be completely creative.

A super simple and short version:

Dearest Mary, You deserve to be happy, and to be kind to yourself. I’m going to do this Freedom, Love and Joy practice today to help with that, because I care about you.

And here’s a much more elaborate version which I wrote to myself a few years ago:

Dear Mary, In a minute, you’re going to get up and go downstairs and make your coffee. Some dogs are probably going to bark at you. There may be some other things that happen that are frustrating, or annoying, or even very worrying. And you want to start your day off in a way that allows you to feel joyful, connected, empowered, and happy, all day!

So before you go any further, let me offer you a few things that might be helpful…

Let me remind you that you are a child of the universe! You are source incarnate. You have known this at times so deeply that you have dwelt in profound and lasting joy for weeks at a time. You knew this when you knelt down and asked the trees to remind you. You knew this when you rode the subway and everyone looked so beautiful. You will probably have glimpses of this today.

So start by knowing it right now. Take a moment to feel yourself here. Feel your breath. Feel the comfort of your bed and the dogs. Listen and hear the sounds of the morning. Take in this moment. And remind yourself that this precious moment is all you actually need. In fact, it’s all that is!

Choose in this moment to practice trust. Choose in this moment to remember that I am guiding you. Choose in this moment to align yourself with happiness.

You get to choose unconditional happiness and welcome lovely conditions too!

You are beautiful. You are smart. You are brave. You are kind. You are strong. You are a delight, and you deserve all the joy that every being deserves.

And you are so clever and resourceful! You are going to have a splendid day.

I love you, my beloved human! From your inner being to you! With love…

As hokey as that might sound, I wrote that at a time I was dealing with a lot of difficult things, and reading it to myself made a big difference.

So today, for Challenge 3, you get to write your own. If you get stuck, just modify one of mine. Remember, just shooting baskets. You can’t get it wrong.

🧘 Part Two – Presencing Practice

The second thing to do today is to choose a Presencing Practice you will do for your three ACE days.

I could call this a meditation, but I'm not going to, because I want to include a lot of options that many people wouldn’t call meditation—and also because a lot of people have difficulty or have had bad experiences with meditation.

So it’s a presencing practice, which means it’s a practice that helps you experience and develop presence.

The word “presence” itself can refer to a broad range of experiences, and since we are practicing Freedom, I want to affirm: no one but you gets to say what it is for you.

🧘🏾 Presencing Practice: Body and Mind

For me, presence can range from simply looking around and taking a few mindful breaths while noticing what’s in front of me in a way that brings me back to the here and now, all the way to feeling so profoundly full of spiritual energy and in a creative flow state that I feel kind of high. When I’m sad or scared or angry, presence can just be sitting with myself, doing some kind of soothing practice.

So you can see it’s a really broad range. And you probably can sense that all these different states require some different tools.

I’m going to propose a list of presencing options, and you can choose one of these for the three days, choose one and modify it, choose three different ones for the three days, or do something you come up with.

I think it’s helpful if the Presencing Practice addresses two elements:

What you’re doing with your body
What you’re doing with your mind

🧍 Working with the Body

There are many things you can do with your body that support becoming more present. You can sit, stand, walk, listen to something, look at something, do some gentle movements, or a settling somatic practice—or a million other things.

The only activity I don’t recommend for presencing is lying down. You might want to do that too at some point in the day, but for presencing it’s better if your head isn’t resting against something, since that tends to make you zone out—which isn’t what we are after here.

Which activity will work best for you depends on a lot of things, including how you’re feeling. If you're really agitated, sitting still is probably not going to be easy. Walking might be good. Or some somatic practice. So if you tend to experience agitation in your morning, then you're going to need something that makes you feel calmer.

If you already have a sitting meditation practice, or you just really want to try one, then that’s an option.

Then there are movement practices. I’m going to suggest a few.

Wherever you choose, I encourage you to do it for at least five minutes, and up to 45 or more if you like.

🌬️ Soothing Anxiety

If you’re feeling very anxious or agitated, you might want to try a somatic practice. Here are two options:

🎧 Wingwave App – Feelwave Track

There’s a very cool thing I’ve shared with a number of people, and most of them have really enjoyed it. It’s on an app called Wingwave. The app has various audio tracks you can buy, but they have one demo for free called Feelwave. It’s a meditative music track that generates binaural beats, alternating between the ears in a way that is really soothing and helps the brain calm down.

Listen on headphones
Try sitting in a comfortable chair, by a window, taking a slow walk, or standing and swaying
Eyes open or closed as you prefer (if sleepy, keep them open)
Just shooting baskets—try what feels good

👐 Butterfly Tapping / Hug

This is a related practice of alternate tapping on your upper arms. I explain it in the first half of this video: https://youtu.be/oQvI-YKA71Y

This technique soothes the nervous system and can be used as a transitionary practice to prepare for a quieter meditation using a mantra.

🪷 Sitting Meditation Options

If you already have a practice you like—great! Feel free to do that.

If you have a practice but don’t really like it, I invite you to apply questions about your Freedom, Love, and Joy to it. If you are free to do it as you want, and you are doing it out of love for yourself and a desire for your wellbeing, and you wish to connect with joy…

How might you do it differently?
What feels good to you?
What is your heart saying?

Listen to yourself. Trust yourself. Try it. Just shooting baskets. See how it goes.

If you don’t have a practice and would like to try sitting meditation, here’s a simple and settling mantra practice:

🧘🏽‍♂️ Mantra Meditation Instructions

Choose a mantra from the list below (or create your own)
Find a comfortable place to sit where you won’t be disturbed
You can be as comfy as you like, but I do suggest you don’t lie down or rest your head on anything.
Eyes open or closed as you prefer
Set a timer for some time between 10 and 20 minutes
Gently begin to feel your breath moving in and out of your body
After a few breaths, say the mantra in your mind, quietly and gently
Let it settle for a breath or so
When you feel like it, say the mantra again in your mind, quietly and gently

Let it settle for a breath or so
Continue like this until the mind wanders
When the mind wanders (and it will) just simply come back to the mantra
If the mind is very busy, you can say the mantra more frequently, for example on each out-breath. Trust yourself and do it in a way that feels good.
Continue until your time is up, and then I suggest ending with a simple wish or prayer. I like to say, “May the fruits of our practice benefit all beings.”

That’s it! Easy peasy. Feel free to do it your way. No need to complicate it—it’s just for three days. You can’t do it wrong.

🚶 Moving Practices

For some people, sitting still doesn’t work—but movement helps.

You can do Presencing using movement at home or outside.

One member of the Continuum group recently started doing walking meditations in the morning and came onto two of our recent calls just gushing about how amazing the experience has been. She’s an early riser and has been doing very slow, mindful walking around her town. She doesn’t time it—she just lets it unfold. Day after day, she’s been astonished by the ever-increasing number of delightful discoveries.

If you’re going to do this, the trick is to walk slowly enough that you can stay very present to each step and each moment.
If the mind is reasonably quiet, you might be able to just pay attention to your walking.
If the mind is very noisy, you could try gently and lightly saying the words left, right, left, right in your mind to just give it a job to keep it a bit occupied, or even choose a mantra from the list below.

Other moving practices might include:

Tai Chi
Gentle, simple Yoga
Standing and swaying

If you choose one of these:

Only do something you already know well
Use very simple moves, repeated slowly
Bring full attention to each movement
Remember: this is a presencing practice, not a movement class

🧠 Working with the Mind

A presencing practice is intended to bring us into presence—into the here and now.

We start with the body because it already lives in the here and now. Bringing attention to it is our primary tool. In theory, this would be enough—because we invite the mind to pay attention to what we’re doing.

But the reality of the mind is quite different. The mind is going to wander all over the place.

It’s a little like taking a dog for a walk. Your fantasy is the dog trots along with you, occasionally stopping to sniff something and then running to catch up. But the reality is the dog races all over the place—jumping on people, digging things up, eating trash, playing with other dogs, peeing on everything…

That’s what the mind is like.

🔁 Using a Mantra

I recommend trying a mantra. Some traditions, like Transcendental Meditation (TM), recommend using a mantra all the time. Others suggest different tools. But if you don’t already have a practice, a mantra is a great way to start.

You can use a mantra with any practice—sitting, walking, Wingwave, gentle movement.

🗣️ Mantra Instructions Recap

Gently begin to feel your breath moving in and out of your body
After a few breaths, say the mantra in your mind, quietly and gently
Let it settle for a breath or so
When you feel like it, say the mantra again in your mind, quietly and gently
Let it settle for a breath or so
Continue like this until the mind wanders
When the mind wanders (and it will) just simply come back to the mantra
If the mind is very busy, you can say the mantra more frequently, for example on each out-breath. Trust yourself and do it in a way that feels good.

🧵 Mantra Options

In – Out (synced to breath)
Left – Right (synced to feet or hands)
One simple word like “Peace”
A formal mantra from a tradition you resonate with:

Om mani padme hum
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace
May all beings be happy

A personal phrase that reflects what feels important to you right now.

“I am enough.”
“I am held.”
“Love in, love out.”
“I am the boss of me.”

🌀 Evolving Practice

My practice has changed a lot over the years and continues to change, evolving with me as I evolve, ebbing and flowing as my desires and needs change.

I'm particularly delighted by my current morning Presencing Practice. I am doing a 20 or 30 minute sitting meditation with a mantra that I made up:

“Aligning with source. Embodying presence and love.”

I'm using a little string of beads and practicing the mantra on each bead. I say it silently and gently in my mind, and then I pause and I do my best to feel it. And then when I'm ready, I go on to the next bead and say it again. This is a nice practice because it's very steadying to have something like beads to keep you moving forward.

My wife has been using a longer mantra from the formal Tibetan tradition that she was trained in: Tayata Om Bekandze Bekandze Maha Bekandze Radza Samudgate Soha It means roughly:

“May all suffering be removed, may all illness be healed, may the great medicine of wisdom be realized, may liberation from all afflictions be attained.”

She finds it helps her deal with her own life challenges and with the suffering in the world.

Whatever practice you choose, once you have chosen it, just do it. This too is like shooting baskets. Remember this is just a three-day experiment… You’re not making any kind of forever commitment!

I promise you—no matter what anyone says, and I've heard it all—there is not one meditation practice that is best for everyone. In fact, in Challenge 5, I'm going to tell you about some research that collected data from thousands of people in hundreds of countries. It showed that there really, truly is not one meditation practice that works for everybody, but in fact your best bet is to try things and see how they feel.

As freedom-seeking beings, we have the opportunity to use our intelligence, to use our discernment, to use our love and our hearts, to use our capacity for feeling joy, to respect ourselves, to explore the question for ourselves, and really honor our personal understanding, our personal discoveries.

I've learned that I can listen to myself and I can trust myself.

🎯 Part Three – Intention for the Day

So just a quick reminder, we are creating a morning ritual that has a three-part structure:

A love letter to yourself
A presencing practice
Making a plan and an intention for the day

For Part Three, the Making a Plan and Intention for Your Day, we will draw on our Challenge 2 practice.

For each ACE day, I invite you to take a few minutes to take a look at what the day ahead of you holds. Notice your expectations about the various activities.

Which things do you expect to be depleting? What might you change to make it feel better?
Which do you expect to be nourishing or neutral? What might you change to increase its nourishment for you?

If you want, you can refer back to the notes from Challenge 2 to remember what worked for you before. Then make a loose plan for ways that you are going to address the things coming up today.

And finally, you can end this practice with a closing affirmation and intention.

It can be super easy, like simply putting your hands on your heart, taking a gentle breath or two and saying:

“Okay, well done. Now go have a good day.”
“You did your practices. I’m proud of you. Now go have the best day you can.”
Or simply, “Good job. I love you.”

Or of course, you can make it a prayer or a poem, or repeat your mantra, or whatever you want. I just invite you to seal your morning practice.

🧩 Putting It All Together

So just to be clear, it’s taken a long time to describe all this, but it’s really just three things:

One

Read your love letter to yourself. I recommend you do this first thing, maybe sitting on the side of your bed. But you might not be able to do that. You might wake up with little humans in your face, or some other thing that needs your focus. You might need to wait until you have a moment to yourself in the bathroom. Or on the train.

So whenever you can, you do it. The earlier the better, so you can set up your day with intention.

Two

Find a way to do a presencing practice. Again, this can be as little as five minutes, but I think you will benefit if you can make it 20.

Three

Look at your day and make a plan, and seal your practice with your closing statement.

This whole three-stage morning process could be as little as 10 minutes, but if you can, give it some more time. This is a chance to really commit to your wellbeing.

There are no shoulds here. But there are lots of opportunities for creativity. For example, if you have a really busy morning but you have a subway ride, you could put on the Wingwave app and do a quiet meditation sitting on the train. Perhaps you could leave the house five minutes early and do a walking practice to or from the train station.

And then for the rest of the day, do your best to keep stopping and practicing appreciation, gratitude, and bringing your creativity, your Freedom, your Love, and your Joy to address the moments of your day and tweak them in the direction of feeling better.

This could be a very yummy three ACE days! (Or more if you are enjoying them!)

FREEDOM, LOVE AND

JOY CHALLENGE

Challenge 4 Transcript

You are never behind.

You can’t get it wrong.

Freedom Love and Joy Challenge

Challenge 4 - Aligning with Your Desires

Hello, my friends—welcome to Challenge Four.

First, we're going to start with a check-in about Challenge Three. What I wonder is: are you beginning to grok, to get it for yourself? What we're doing here is creating a state change within you. We're not just practicing things to practice them—we're practicing to create an internal shift in orientation to life, to possibility.

One of the ideas I love comes from both Lao Tzu and Joe Dispenza. Basically, what we know is: Your thoughts become feelings. Your feelings become actions. Your actions become habits. Your habits become your personality.

🧠 Thoughts, Feelings, Destiny

Your habits become your personality, and then your personality becomes your destiny.

This cascade—thoughts to feelings, to actions, to habits, to personality, to destiny—is always running. But we can intervene at any point. We can say: I'm going to change my thoughts. I'm going to change my feelings. I'm going to change my actions. I'm going to change my habits. I'm going to change my personality. I'm going to change my destiny.

But the further down you go, the harder it gets. That's why we start with thoughts. We're not trying to force a change—we're choosing the thoughts we want.

🔄 Pattern Interrupts and Practice

So I’m chugging along, moving through life in my usual pattern—and then something happens that reminds me to practice.

Very often, what reminds me is that I’m grumpy or irritated. I catch myself and think, Wait a second—I can reclaim this.

So I stop. I ask myself: What can I appreciate or feel grateful for right now?

Something shifts. I choose the practice. And then I notice—I feel better.

In that moment, the thought leads to a different feeling. Not a “changed thought,” but a new thought. A deliberate thought.

That’s the distinction: Deliberate vs. habitual.

Our habitual thoughts—the ones that run constantly in the background—are conditioned patterns of the mind. Sometimes I call this the conditioned mind.

🧭 Deliberate vs. Habitual

Deliberate thoughts are the ones we stop and choose.

That’s what we’ve been practicing—choosing to shift our thoughts. Then we shifted our feelings. And in Challenge Two, we began shifting our behaviors.

We asked: Here’s something that’s not nourishing—how can I make it more nourishing?

As we change our actions, we begin to change our habits. And as habits shift, so does personality.

Again, the cascade: Thoughts → Feelings → Actions → Habits → Personality → Destiny

🌈 Becoming Weird, Becoming You

I’ve mentioned this before because I love it: the word weird comes from an old English root that refers to the ability to shape destiny—like Shakespeare’s three weird sisters. So weird doesn’t mean strange. It means unique. It means powerful.

As you become who you truly want to be, you get a little weird—and that’s how you begin to change your destiny.

So again, we’re practicing noticing how thoughts affect feelings. That noticing is key. It’s the meta-awareness. I’m not just thinking—I’m noticing what I’m thinking. And in that noticing, I gain power.

We’ll keep doing the Challenge Three practices in Challenge Four, in some form. In fact, they become a kind of template for the rest of your life.

📝 Formal Practice or Flow

You might not continue making formal lists with up arrows and down arrows. Or you might return to that later. You might even want to do a formal presencing practice—which I highly recommend. But you can also just tuck it into the cracks of your day.

Whether you do it formally or not, the essence matters. The essence is this: Throughout your day, pause. Check in. Ask what you can appreciate or feel grateful for.

💫 Abundance and Appreciation

There’s a quote—one of those old Greek guys—something like:

“Abundance consists not of what we have, but of what we appreciate.”

We can have tons of stuff and feel no abundance. Or we can appreciate one small thing and feel rich.

So first, pause. Then look at the elements of your day. Even if you’re not making a list, just pay attention. Ask: Is this nourishing or depleting? How can I make it more nourishing?

Isn’t that just a no-brainer way to live?

🚇 Everyday Presencing

This is something you begin to weave into your day—a gentle, ongoing presencing practice.

At any point—standing on the subway platform, about to walk into a meeting, feeling yourself spun from running around—just stop. Come back to yourself. Put on the Wingwave while you walk out to your car.

If you haven’t tried the Wingwave, by the way, try it. It’s so cool. Occasionally people don’t like it, but if it’s not your thing, there are lots of other options on YouTube—binaural beats paired with music you might like better.

These Challenge Three practices represent a shift: a way to maintain some say in how your day is going, and how you’re reacting to it.

👑 Autonomy and Sovereignty

This is about maintaining your autonomy—your sovereignty. Your capacity to choose. Your ability to say, “This is what I want,” instead of just running on automatic pilot.

So I encourage you: don’t let this practice slide. Let it nourish you. Let it become a lifelong pattern.

We’ll keep doing it for now, and you can switch it up. I’ll share more about that at the end.

This is, by the way, the same kind of care you give your body. You feed it every day. You make sure it’s warm—pulling down my sleeves here because it’s chilly. You make sure it’s warm when it needs warmth, cool when it needs cooling. You give it rest. You take care of it.

🧘‍♀️ Caring for Mind and Body

And you know—if you don’t take care of your body in these ways, it lets you know. It starts to hurt. It starts to feel weak. It starts to make you grumpy.

Same thing with the mind.

These are practices of caring for the mind and the emotions. Just like eating and sleeping—we’re simply taking care of ourselves.

So before you go any further, I invite you to pause and reflect on Challenge Three. You can go to the tracking document later if you want, or just stop the video and do it now.

I’ll ask a few questions. Let them land. Let yourself reflect.

❓ Reflection Questions

First: During Challenge Three, how did it feel to be so deliberate?

Second: How did you feel about doing it? How did you feel about doing the practices?

Third: How often during the day did you stop to appreciate or practice gratitude? Every couple hours? Twice? Thirty times?

And did that feel like enough? Did it feel like you did it enough?

Final question before moving on:

Do I want to go on to Challenge Four now, or would I like to give another day or two to Challenge Three?

Only your preference matters.

Notice if a whole bunch of “shoulds” start to arise—like, I should have done this, or feelings of shame, worry, or not having enough time. If they do, just recognize: that’s the mind. The conditioned mind. Making stuff up.

Remember our motto: You can’t get it wrong, and you’re never behind.

You can’t get it wrong if you take a couple more days. You can’t get it wrong if you don’t. You have lifetime access to this challenge. You can come back again and again.

So ask yourself: Do I want to continue with Challenge Three for a few more days? Or do I want to move on to Challenge Four?

Either way is right. Just ask yourself—and decide.

If you choose not to start today, just come back to this video tomorrow or whenever you’re ready.

🌟 Introducing Challenge Four

Okay, so now I’m going to introduce Challenge Four.

As I mentioned during Challenge Three, this next phase is about reconnecting with your dreams and desires—reconnecting with the things you care about and want, including the ones you don’t necessarily believe you can do or have. Just reconnecting with those desires, and then gently aligning with them.

This does require a certain amount of stability. We can’t be knocked off our intentions for the whole day by a single negative event or thought. We need some capacity to choose how we’re perceiving. That’s why we do this after Challenges One, Two, and Three are under our belt.

And I’ll be honest with you…

💭 Resistance to Desire

I think Challenge Four is one of the hardest.

It’s not so much about doing—it’s about allowing yourself to reconnect with things you might have given up on. And that can bring up resistance.

Allowing ourselves to simply want what we want flies in the face of a lot of our habits as human beings. We tend to spend an awful lot of time talking about what we don’t want.

So here’s what I’m inviting you to do over the next few days—today and the next three ACE days: Start noticing when you’re talking about what you don’t want. Notice how often other people are talking about what they don’t want.

This shows up in all our complaining, right?

📣 Complaining and Neural Pathways

“Oh my God, I had to go to the dentist, and on the way I got a flat tire…” “My family this, my brother that…”

Just telling the story of something going wrong, over and over.

Now, I’m not saying these things aren’t true. And I’m not saying they aren’t difficult. But the repeated telling of what we don’t want—complaining about what is, complaining about how things are—is a dominant behavior in the human mind.

We complain about the state of the world, the state of our lives. And every time we do, we build neural pathways.

Every thought builds a pathway. Every pathway strengthens the tendency to think that way again.

🎯 Aligning with Desire

So in Challenge Four, if we’re going to allow ourselves to want what we want—and align with those desires—we’re going to be flying in the face of that habitual behavior.

And here’s what happens: when we try to talk about what we want, we often end up talking about what we don’t want.

You’ll catch yourself doing it. It’s remarkable how quickly we get there.

We start to say, “I really want to go on vacation…” But then: “Because I’ve been working so hard, and my boss is just—ugh.”

We don’t even get to the want. We just talk about what we don’t want. We use the story of what we don’t want as a justification for the desire—but all our energy goes into the complaint. And none of it is focused on what we do want

🧠 Confirmation Bias and Focus

When we focus heavily on what we don’t want, we build neural pathways that tell the brain: “This is important.”

The brain says, “She’s focusing on this a lot—it must matter.” And then confirmation bias kicks in.

We start scanning the world for more of what matches that pattern. The brain literally filters reality to highlight what we’ve been focusing on.

So we begin to see the world as more like what we don’t want than it really is.

This has been demonstrated time and time again.

🔍 What You See Is What You Focus On

If you think about it this way, let's say there are 10 things you're looking at, and your confirmation bias tells you to focus on certain things. It will take the two that are like what you believe and highlight them in your awareness and basically zone you out on the other eight. Now, when you look at that situation, you only see the two. And so your world view is of the two things that you don't like, because that's what you've been focusing on.

We've already been working on this to some extent, right? Because we've been walking around the world saying, what can I appreciate and have gratitude for? Shift already.

🐉 Real-Life Gratitude Moment

I could just walk through my default version, which walks around saying, oh, I can't believe they left their socks on the ground. Oh, I can't believe I haven't gotten around to fixing that thing. Oh, it's so frustrating that's the behavior. Or instead we start to shift it. We look at all this stuff and say, oh, I remember when I'm gonna grab this thing.

I just laid my eyes on a real life moment here. I remember when Teresa sent me this amazing little dragon that she made and gave me.

It's an ocarina, and I used to play the ocarina when I was a teenager. All the time it's a little. A whistle that plays a scale.

And look at his sweet face. Her sweet face. Look at this. So that's been sitting there for a long time now, and I haven't really noticed it in the past month or two, but in the moment I'm demoing, I look and I see it, and I get a little burst of joy in my heart. This is what we're doing, okay? This deliberate choosing of attention in defiance of all our patterns of behavior. Okay.

🚫 The “But” Reflex

All right. So one of the things we have to be careful of is as soon as we start to say, oh, I want something the mind goes, but I want it but. Right? And so we think, oh, I want to go on vacation, but I don't know if I have the money. I don't have the time. How I get. But the butt. Buts. Butts just start kicking in.

🛑 Stopping Before the “But”

Now, we are not going to be focused for this challenge for the next four days. We just talk about four days here, right? On making anything happen. Okay, what are you really going to do in four days? Right. Instead, we're going to focus on aligning with it. And that means stopping before the butt. And I actually have a video called Stopping before the butt. That is, I put a little link for it in the transcript. So. So we're going to stop before the. But we're just going to practice allowing what we want.

🧠 Two Aspects of Mind

All right, so let me just quickly be very clear because I'm not sure I've made this super clear. Although if you've worked with me for any amount of time, you have heard me talk about this. We are talking about two different aspects of mind…two different qualities of mind.

One is the automatic, habituated, conditioned patterning that runs constantly. The other is deliberate: I am stopping and choosing to think this thing.

When we look at our minds, the automatic, habituated thoughts make up the vast majority—estimated between 80 to 95%. And that’s how it has to be. That’s okay.

When you’re cooking, doing dishes, driving, getting dressed—you can’t be consciously thinking through every step. So a lot of it is habituated. And that’s fine.

🧭 Deliberate Thought and Choice

But then there are the deliberate thoughts—the ones we choose. And when we do, we infuse them with intention. That choice begins to color everything.

So we have the conditioned mind—the automated, habituated mind—and we have the deliberate mind.

And in Challenges One, Two, and Three, we’ve been practicing stepping into the deliberate mind again and again.

📝 The Wanting List

So here’s the first invitation for Challenge Four: Make a list.

Just start. It doesn’t have to be numbered. It’s not a to-do list. It’s not a goals list. We’re not trying to accomplish anything.

Just make a list of anything and everything that you want.

It doesn’t have to be reasonable. It doesn’t have to be balanced. It doesn’t have to be comprehensive.

Just anything that comes to mind.

☕ Wanting What You Already Have

It can even be something you already have.

Let me give you an example. I love coffee. I want to drink coffee every day.

And I do! Holy moly! I have access to beans that travel thousands of miles to my local grocery store. I have the tools to make it exactly how I like it.

Over time, I’ve acquired just the right mugs, just the right setup. And every single day, I get to have coffee. That’s amazing. That’s awesome.

But I also want to be more deliberate about enjoying it—not just getting it going and rushing into the day.

So recently, I started doing that. I use a thermos that keeps it warm, but in the morning, I pour it into a little cup with a saucer—not a mug, just a small cup.

My wife drinks espresso. She’s Italian—straight-up espresso in her little cup. So in the morning, I make her espresso, and I pour some of mine into my little fancy cup.

Then we stand together—usually in her office—and we “cheers”. And we drink our coffee together.

The whole thing takes about a minute. Her espresso is quick, and my cup is small. But the ritual helps us remember: Don’t just launch into the day. Pause. Connect.

We’ve been doing this for a long time. And the process of creating this little cup moment—where I sip with her—gives this morning ritual a beginning, middle, and end.

These are the things we savor. They don’t take time, but they change how the day feels. They ground it in intention and connection to what we love.

This is an example of wanting what I already have—and wanting to deepen it.

🪂 Wanting What Might Not Happen

Then there are things I want that I might never get.

For example: I’ve been wanting to go paragliding in Utah for ages. I want to get my pilot’s license. I want to spend six days there, flying every day, and take the test at the end.

I kind of want to go with my sister Rosanna—she’s interested now.

But this isn’t going to happen unless I make real plans. It’ll take time, thinking, effort. And I never go to Utah.

It might happen. It might not. But I still put it on my list.

I don’t tie my happiness to whether it happens. I simply allow myself to want it.

I’ve seen enough photos of the place. I’ve jumped twice—I know the feeling. I’ve watched paragliders. It’s one of the coolest things I can imagine.

And because I’ve practiced allowing myself to want what I want, I don’t shut it down with “Oh, that’ll never happen.”

Honestly, I don’t know if it will. I’ve wanted it for years. Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t. That’s irrelevant.

I enjoy wanting it. I can picture it—and it feels good to picture it.

It’s worth remembering: We only ever want anything because we believe it will make us feel good. Joy. Safety. Peace. Relaxation. We’re always chasing a feeling.

✨ Feeling the Wanting

So in this moment, when I think about paragliding, I think about my sister. I think about Utah. I think about getting my pilot’s license.

And as I say that, I feel a little burst of pride. I feel it.

I’m experiencing it—not in a grand, visual way. I don’t really visualize. For me, it’s more of a feeling.

But it’s the allowing of the wanting. The delight in the wanting.

🇮🇹 Wanting What’s Likely

Then there are things I want that are probably going to happen.

Like: I want to spend next September at my wife’s family home in Italy again, like I did this year. And this time, I want my niece Mimi to come—with her son, my great-nephew.

That’s probably going to happen. I’m pretty sure I’ll go. I’m pretty sure she’ll come.

But it’ll still take planning. It won’t just happen on its own.

So it’s like the paragliding—except it’s likely. And I can enjoy wanting it.

🍄 Wanting the Small Things

And finally, here’s a small example.

I want to buy more vegan pâté. I really like this mushroom pâté—it comes in a little can. I just finished my last one today.

I probably won’t buy more for a while, for a few reasons. But I put it on my list—not my to-do list, my wanting list.

And I enjoy wanting it.

That enjoyment definitely increases the chances I’ll actually do it. But that’s not the point.

This isn’t about accomplishing. There’s no emphasis on achieving in this challenge.

❤️ Wanting for Others

The next part of the list is about things I want for specific people I love and care about.

For example, I want my brother to have a life where he feels more and more secure—safe, confident, able to get what he needs without stress. I want to be instrumental in that. I want it deeply. It’s something I’m constantly working on.

So day to day, it’s more like: How am I going to figure this out?

But in allowing myself to want it, I let myself feel the love in that wanting. This is the love part of freedom, love, and joy. Paragliding might be joy or freedom—this is love.

I have clients I want things for too. I want what they want. And I want to be instrumental in helping them get it.

I want both: for them to receive it, and for my work with them to support that. Even if I’m not instrumental, I still want it.

I feel that wanting. I feel that desire. These are the things I want for others—and I can feel my heart in that wanting.

💞 Imagining Joy for Others

I can feel my love. I can imagine their joy—and feel it.

So first: things you want for yourself. Next: things you want for people you care about. And then: things you want for your community.

That’s the third layer.

🏘️ Wanting for Community

Community can be local.

For example, I went to an open mic the other day. They didn’t have a mic stand. I had one—but theirs was broken, and mine wasn’t being used.

I thought about lending it. But then I realized I might need it back. Would I ask for it later?

And right then, someone else said, “Hey, I’ve got a bunch of those. I’ll give you one.”

I had a wanting for them to have what they needed. I had a wanting to be helpful. And someone else fulfilled that wanting. It was a beautiful moment.

🌍 Global Wanting and Possibility

Beyond local, I have big wantings for the world. And I know you do too.

I want us to live more sustainably. I want us to clean up the oceans. I want us to be kinder to animals.

All kinds of things I want.

And again—we’re not talking about how. We’re not saying it has to happen.

We’re just allowing ourselves to want it.

Not focusing on the terrible things that make us want these changes— but focusing on the feeling of love, freedom, and joy underneath the desire.

✨ “Impossible Until It’s Done”

So we’re just making a list. Put everything on it.

We’re not trying to make anything happen. We’re opening to possibility.

Because so often, we don’t let ourselves want something unless we know we can make it happen. But that’s a recipe for recreating the same life over and over.

To create something new, we have to want things we don’t yet know how to make happen.

Nelson Mandela said something that lives in my mind:

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”

What he did was incredible—he transformed South Africa.

And that quote—“It always seems impossible until it’s done”—is so powerful. Right up until the moment it’s done, it seems impossible.

But that doesn’t have to stop us. And it doesn’t have to make us upset.

When we practice aligning with what we want, we’re not making a to-do list. We’re giving space for creativity to churn.

And as you do this, you’ll discover: The number of creative ideas you have is way beyond the number of things you can actually do.

🧶 Overflowing Creativity

Like just listing places you’d like to visit in the world.

I could say: I want to go to Nepal. I want to go to Tiger’s Nest—I think it’s in Bhutan. I want to go to Vietnam. I want to spend time in Paris again. I don’t want to go to Barcelona again. I want to spend time at the beach. I want to visit my family.

I could go on and on—many more things than I could ever do in one lifetime.

And that’s just travel.

There are all kinds of crafts too. I had this hilarious idea the other day—will I ever do it? I don’t know.

🎨 Self-Hate Bingo and Reframing

It’s called Self-Hate Bingo.

I was talking about it with a client. You come up with all the phrases your self-hate tends to say, and you make a bingo card. Then you check them off. You make it into a collage.

It’s a way to reframe your relationship with the conditioned mind.

So many things come up once you allow yourself to want. Your mind will flood with ideas.

Don’t worry about doing them.

My mom used to say, “You can’t have everything—where would you put it?”

Which is so funny, right? Like, Here’s my house—and here’s everything.

So just to be clear: We’re not trying to make anything happen. We’re opening to the joy of wanting again.

🧠 Imagining Builds Memory

There’s this wild thing that happens at the neurological level when you let yourself imagine something in detail—especially when you bring in the feeling of the experience.

The brain starts creating new neural pathways associated with that imagined experience. And it stores the experience of imagining it as a memory.

It’s like your brain remembers you experiencing the imagining.

Now, intellectually, we know: “Oh, I was just imagining.” But the mind doesn’t really distinguish that way—especially if there’s feeling involved.

The feeling is what makes it visceral. And that’s one of the reasons we’ve been practicing thinking into feeling—the way we have.

🧠 Memory and Belief

Once the mind remembers something—even if it was imagined—it starts to believe it. And that begins to shift our cognitive biases, especially confirmation bias.

Confirmation bias filters our perception. It only lets us see what we already believe is possible.

But once we have memories—even imagined ones—of doing something we enjoy, those memories begin to shift our beliefs.

The mind says, “Well, sure, she can do that. She’s done it before.”

It’s subtle, but it’s real. Some part of you remembers doing it. And that part begins to believe it’s possible.

So now, when you focus on wanting something, the brain is more open. It says, “Yeah… maybe that could happen.”

🧠 Imagining Supports Possibility

As we allow ourselves to imagine and feel what it’s like to have, do, or experience the things we want, we’re storing something in the mind that supports the possibility of creating it in real life.

Henry Ford famously said:

“Whether you believe you can do a thing or believe you can’t—you’re right.”

Now, of course, that’s an oversimplification. But there’s truth in it—especially if you believe you can’t.

Alice Walker said:

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”

So again—we’re not trying to change our lives overnight. But will this change your life? Yeah. Over time, it will.

🔄 Beliefs to Destiny

Gandhi said:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions.”

And as we’ve said before: Actions become habits. Habits shape personality. Personality shapes destiny.

You’ve seen this in others—people who reenact the same patterns over and over. It’s easy to spot from the outside.

Harder to see in ourselves. But we can practice. We can practice shifting toward alignment with what we want.

🌊 The Ocean Cleanup Story

Before we wrap up, I want to share a quick story.

In the early 2000s, people started becoming aware of something called the Great Pacific Garbage Patch—a swirling vortex of plastic waste in the ocean.

Actually, there are five or six of these patches around the world, where ocean currents have gathered massive amounts of plastic. Vast areas, as far as the eye can see—entirely human-made.

At the time, experts said it couldn’t be cleaned up. Too far from land. The pieces were too small. The area was too huge. And the fuel required to clean it would cause more pollution than it solved.

🌊 Cleaning the Impossible

But in 2011, a Dutch teenager named Boyan Slat went on a diving trip to Greece. While diving, he saw more plastic than fish—and it devastated him.

When he got home, he started researching. At 16, he created a science fair project envisioning how to clean up the garbage patch—this thing that was supposed to take 79,000 years to fix.

By 2013, at just 18 years old, he founded The Ocean Cleanup. He built a prototype to test his idea. Over time, the design evolved.

You should look it up—it’s very cool.

As of 2023, the Ocean Cleanup had removed over 100,000 kilograms of plastic from the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

🚢 The Ocean Cleanup

They did this using vessels that harness ocean currents to concentrate the plastic waste.

These solar-powered vessels collect the debris—and even use the debris itself as part of the energy system to keep going. They don’t have to bring it all back to shore.

And now, there’s another machine called the Manta, built by an organization called The SeaCleaners, based on Boyan’s prototypes.

☀️ Solar-Powered Solutions

The Manta can remove up to three tons of plastic per hour—using solar, wind, and waste energy technologies.

This is what happens when people say, “Huh… I wonder what we could do about this?”

They let themselves imagine. They let themselves want. They dared to believe something different was possible.

🧠 Infinite Detail vs. Bold Imagination

We have a habit of talking ourselves out of things before they even get started.

We think, Oh, I want to… Then immediately: But I can’t. I’m not going to.

We talk ourselves out of it. We focus on the problems, on how hard it is. And this is so easy to do—because the problems are right there in our lives.

There’s infinite detail in the problems.

You know what I mean. I’ve been so tired lately. Every time I try, I run into this issue… And then this happens… and then that…

You can go into infinite detail about what’s wrong. And of course, that focus builds neural pathways. Pretty soon, you feel hopeless.

🌱 Dare to Be Naive

By contrast, talking about what you do want requires creativity—because you’re making it up.

It requires boldness—because you’re naming something you don’t yet know can be true.

And it requires a certain amount of naivete.

Buckminster Fuller said:

“Dare to be naive.”

Like that kid—Boyan Slat. They said it would take 79,000 years to clean the ocean. And he said, I don’t know… I think I can do something.

People thought, That kid is so naive. But he dared to look at it in a new way.

So I’m encouraging you: Don’t stomp on your seedlings. Let them be. Let them grow.

🔁 Challenge Four: Three Practices

Challenge Four has three foundational practices. These are the continuation of Challenge Three.

Feel free to switch them up. Do them in a new way. Do them differently. But keep them in some version.

🌞 Morning Encouragement + Presencing

First thing in the morning, say something kind to yourself. Be encouraging.

Do it formally if you want—write it down. Or just say: Good morning, Mary. We’re going to have a good day.

Whatever you do—just start.

Then, at some point, do a presencing practice. This is essential. It’s how we free ourselves from the conditioned mind and enter a space of freedom of thought.

I’ll talk more about this in Challenge Five. But for now, know that presencing is key.

🙏 On-the-Fly Gratitude

Throughout the day, practice gratitude and appreciation on the fly.

Anytime you think—just stop and do it.

You can do it a thousand times a day. Definitely a hundred. Ten-second practices, tucked into the cracks of your day.

I’m not saying you should. I’m just showing you how easy it is.

🌿 Nourishing vs. Depleting

And begin to notice: What you’re doing. What you’re about to do. What you just did.

Ask: Is this nourishing or depleting? And be creative about how to make it more nourishing.

In Challenge Two, someone shared that her day was so free-form, she couldn’t plan with up and down arrows. So instead, she looked back at the end of the day and asked: What was nourishing? What was depleting?

Brilliant practice. You can’t do this wrong.

🧠 Challenge Four: Two New Exercises

Now, for Challenge Four, I have two new exercises.

They don’t take much time. You can do them in slivers—even in a busy life.

But they represent a huge shift in mindset. Not a big time commitment. A big shift.

🗓️ Choose One Per Day

Choose one exercise for each of the ACE days. If you have time, do both—one in the morning, one in the evening.

I encourage you to try both at some point.

And always pay attention to how it makes you feel. This is part of our meta-awareness—our bliss upland. Does this make me feel better?

💭 Exercise 1: “I Like Thinking About…”

Pick one thing from your list—or something that’s just come to mind. Something you’d like to have happen. Whether it ever happens or not, you like the idea of it.

Then do this exercise: “I like thinking about…”

I’ve used this with people in very difficult situations. It helps break the mental loop that keeps them stuck.

I recommend doing it as a voice memo. If you haven’t found your voice memo app, just Google: How do I find the voice memo on my phone?

Hit record and say: I like thinking about this thing I want happening… And then go into detail.

🎶 Demo: Musical Rehearsal

Here’s a quick demo.

I’ve got a friend I’m doing music with. I like thinking about our rehearsal tomorrow being really fun. I like thinking about feeling relaxed and creative—finding good musical choices. I like thinking about the recording going smoothly. I like thinking about being helpful. I like thinking about the music she’s creating—it’s beautiful. I like thinking about the goodwill of everyone showing up to play. It’s been amazing.

And now I’m thinking about what has happened as a template for what will happen.

And I like thinking about the sandwiches—she always gets really good ones. So tomorrow, I’ll have a really good sandwich.

🌱 Let It Grow

That’s all there is to it.

Give yourself time to say, I like thinking about… and let it grow.

Don’t censor yourself. If it turns into wild imagining—let it go.

Think about that kid again. I like thinking about cleaning up the ocean. I like thinking about reducing 79,000 years down to five.

He said, I believe this can be done in five years.

There’s a TEDx talk—his first one’s in Dutch, and the second is in English. You should see the Dutch one—he’s so young.

🤯 Positive What Ifs

So that’s the first exercise.

The second is called: Positive What If.

We go negative what if all the time. I call it: Zero to homeless in ten seconds.

I’m late for work. If I’m late again, I’ll get in trouble. My boss will fire me. I won’t be able to pay rent. I’ll be homeless.

The mind goes there fast.

🌀 Irrational Imagination

The mind spins wild what ifs—with no benchmark for reality.

And when you say them, you feel something. That feeling becomes a memory. That memory becomes a belief.

So we’re turning this around.

Don’t ask your positive what ifs to be more realistic than your negative ones. That’s biased.

Let your positive what ifs be completely irrational.

What if I open the mail and I’ve won a paragliding trip for two to Utah? What if I go with my sister Rosanna and we’re both amazing at it? What if it happens just when I’ve been doing enough CrossFit and I feel strong and ready?

I didn’t know I was going to say any of that. I just let it happen.

This is the positive what if. And again—it’s not about realism. It’s about choosing the deliberate over the automatic.

🗣️ Think for Yourself

Coco Chanel said:

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Out loud.”

That’s what this challenge is about.

🎥 Bonus Videos

I’ve got two little videos linked in the transcript:

Stopping Before the Butt — made a few years ago.
Butt Mind vs. Beauty Mind — made a few days later.

They encapsulate this challenge nicely. Feel free to check them out.

💌 Closing Invitation

Okay, my friends.

Feel free to reach out. Post in the group. Share what you’re doing.

If you run into trouble—reach out. People have been reaching out, and I’ve been helping.

May the fruits of our practice benefit all beings—starting with you, and spreading out to the world.

FREEDOM, LOVE AND

JOY CHALLENGE

Challenge 5 Transcript

You are never behind.

You can’t get it wrong.

Freedom Love and Joy Challenge

Challenge 5

Reconnecting with your Inner Guidance

🌟 Welcome to Challenge #5

Welcome to challenge number five of our Freedom, Love, and Joy challenge.

So here we are. You've made it this far, and that’s quite an accomplishment.

The challenge is laid out over 21 days, and I want to remind us:

In 21 days, you don’t just change your whole life and wake up enlightened and fixed. That’s not how things work. We’re organic beings—we’re growing, evolving, constantly shifting.

But what you might do in 21 days is develop enough powerful new skills and resources, and experience enough success, that you feel encouraged to keep going. You begin to sense that you’re on a journey you’re willing to continue. And that journey? It’s bliss. It’s simply feeling better—a little less crappy, a little more happy. Better.

That kind of shift is not only possible in 21 days—it’s very achievable here.

🧭 Why We Start with Gratitude

You’ve already encountered some things in this challenge, so I want to give a quick overview and talk about the intent behind each part.

We began with the Gratitude and Appreciation Challenge. The goal here is to learn that you have the power to reclaim a moment. You can say, “In this moment, it’s going this way—but I notice I have the power to shift it.” You begin to realize you have some influence over how you feel.

That might go like: “Ugh, I notice I’m feeling this way… hold on, let me make a shift.” Then: “Oh, I notice I feel better.”

As you do this over and over again, you start to notice what works and what doesn’t—for you. Not what I say, not what your best friend says. Just what actually works for you.

The goal of this challenge is to give you experiential knowledge. That sense of: “Yep, I can do this. I’ve got this.”

🧠 The Practice of Noticing

The key to all of this is noticing how you feel. You do have to notice. If you don’t, you won’t be able to tell whether something is working for you.

So let’s just do that real quick. We’re not going deep here—just spend a few seconds noticing how you feel.

🌀 Pause and Tune In

Just stop. Shake your body off—whatever it was just doing. Take a breath and simply notice how you feel.

To help solidify that awareness, try putting some words on it:

I feel nothing. I feel bland. I feel tight. I feel relaxed. I feel joyful. I feel playful. I feel irritated. I feel overwhelmed. I feel frustrated.

Maybe you feel a little (or a lot) of some of those.

Just take another moment to notice how you feel, and put your own words to it. Your words—nobody else’s.

(pause)

Now, I invite you to place your hands on your heart for a second and say: Okay, I see you. I hear you. I got it. I know that’s how you feel. I hear you.

We’re simply bringing awareness and compassion to the self.

👀 Shift Your Gaze, Shift Your State

Now look around your environment. Find something you actually like. Let your eyes wander until they land on it—and then let them rest there.

If you can, speak out loud about what you like about that thing. If you do it out loud, even better—you engage more senses. Just talk about what you appreciate or feel grateful for. Let’s do that for about 20 seconds.

(pause)

Now check in again. Notice any shift in your feeling state. Any change at all—a little, a lot.

Do you feel some form of “better”?

Maybe a little less tension, a little more aliveness, a little more interest, a little less overwhelm. Any slightly better—less crappy or more happy.

🙏 Acknowledge the Shift (or the Lack of One)

If you do feel better, express appreciation for that. Say something like: “Wow, I see how that works. I appreciate that.” Just do that.

And if your answer is, “No, I don’t feel better,” then notice how that feels. Notice what your mind is saying about it.

What your mind says here is important—because it shapes what you’ll do next.

Maybe your mind says: “Yeah, I don’t feel any better. But honestly, that’s not surprising—it’s been a tough morning, and this has worked in the past.”

Great.

Or maybe your mind says: “No, I don’t feel better. This never works for me. I’m uniquely messed up.”

Notice which of those mindsets is going to lead you to try again—to shoot another basket.

📝 Capture the Experience

If you’ve reached this point, I trust you’ve had the experience of practicing gratitude or appreciation and noticing that it made you feel better.

If you haven’t—please reach out to me.

Really.

Please reach out.

Now, I encourage you to pause the video and make some quick notes. Just do it in the easiest way. Scribble it in your phone, record a voice memo, jot it on paper—whatever works. Just do that. Then come back.

🫶 Share and Reflect

So I’m assuming you paused and did that. I encourage you to come into the community and share about it later.

This awareness is important. It’s foundational.

There’s a very good reason I’ve said that appreciation and gratitude are both the gold standard and the low-hanging fruit.

Low-hanging fruit means it’s the easiest to access. It’s almost always available—maybe always. And the gold standard? That’s the thing that’s been shown again and again to work beautifully.

So if it’s not working for you—please reach out. I bet I can help.

🧭 Challenge Two: The Choice Point Practice

All right, then we moved into Challenge Two. This one is a kind of choice point practice, where we say to ourselves: Okay, there’s all this stuff in my life—I do this, I do that.

Then we ask: Which of these things affect me in a way that feels nourishing? That feels enlivening, soothing, well-being-directed?

And which of these things feel depleting—moving me toward unhappiness or overwhelm?

First we notice.

We notice which is which, and then we ask: How can I affect this thing to make it more nourishing? To make it less depleting?

And then—we do it. And then—we notice whether it worked.

That’s the heart of this practice: the doing and the noticing.

If you don’t do that part, it stays cerebral. It stays theoretical.

If you try something and it doesn’t work, that’s still important information. Not “this never works,” but: “Oh, that didn’t work. Let me try another way. Or let me try that same way again.”

Because we know from shooting baskets: just because you aim the ball and miss doesn’t mean it won’t go in next time. Even if you’ve never played basketball, you know this. You try again—maybe tilt an inch to the right and it goes in. Or an inch to the left and it doesn’t.

That’s how it works.

You try the thing. You notice: did it feel better?

You throw the basket: did it go in?

As we actually practice this, we begin again to empower ourselves.

So again, I’m assuming you’ve done this—and that it’s paid off in some way. That you’ve been able to say: “Wow. This does change things.”

And if not—please reach out. Really. Please.

🌅 Challenge Three: Weaving It Through the Day

Then came Challenge Three.

We continued those first two practices, and we began weaving them through our day. I want them to become as natural as possible, so that you just remember, over and over.

You’re walking along, all grumpy—“I can’t believe…blah, blah, blah…” Then you remember: “Hold on. Let me do some appreciation.”

Not because you should, but because you know it will help you feel better.

In Challenge Three, we wove that through the day.

And then we also did the practice where we reclaimed our morning.

So the full picture in Challenge 3 was…

You get up. You say something kind to yourself.
You add in some presencing practice—some deliberate thing.
Then you step into Challenge Two: What does my day look like?
And you weave in Challenge One.

Beginning to set up your day with intention, you create a feeling in the morning that you deliberately step into. A feeling of choosing. Of planning. Of honoring yourself. Of taking care.

Of presencing. Of coming back to here. Getting present in the room. Present to yourself. Present to the people you love. Present to your work. Present. Presencing.

And from there, you begin weaving in gratitude, appreciation, and choice point shifts.

“Oh, let me make a choice. I have a point here where I can make a choice.”

And now it begins to weave a kind of foundation.

Sort of like a hammock that’s well woven. You can just lie right back in it. And it holds your weight—because it’s made of individual strands, but it’s well woven.

🌈 Challenge Four: Positive “What If” and “I Like Thinking About…”

And then from there, we moved into Challenge Four. This is probably be the newest one for you—so how did it go?

Did you try the positive What if?

What if it works out perfectly? What if it goes fabulously? What if this is the turning point for me? What if I look back on today and say, “You know what? That was a good day.”

Did you let yourself get carried away with it? Did you feel it moving you into a state of feeling better—maybe even more aligned with your desire?

And did you try the second exercise: I like thinking about…

I like thinking about it working out. I like thinking about… anything, really.

Here’s a quick example.

🧠 Reframing a Busy Day

So I’m really busy—as maybe you’ve picked up on. By the time I get home, it’ll be a 6am to 8pm day.

In the past, I’d approach that like: “Oh God, I’m so exhausted. I can’t believe I have to do this. I’m so stupid. Why do I always line things up like this?”

But now, I take the “I like thinking about…” approach.

I like thinking about having a really great day. I like thinking about enjoying every step along the way. I like thinking about remembering to rest and drop my shoulders between sessions. I like thinking about feeling calm and invigorated, remembering to breathe, eat, and take care of myself. I like thinking about ending the day not depleted, but appropriately tired and satisfied.

Can you feel the difference?

It’s still a super busy day. And I’d love to become the kind of person who plans ahead well enough to avoid stacking so many things at once. But I don’t think I’m wired that way. So—here I am.

💬 Did You Try It?

So—did you try these? Did they work?

If not, please reach out. If they did, please share in the group. People need inspiration. They really do.

Now take a breath.

Do you feel like the Challenge is working for you? Do you feel like it’s not? Do you feel something else?

Do you feel empowered to weave this into your life in more and more ways? Or do you feel like you’re just going to stop?

🫶 The Blissipline Community

The whole point of creating the Blissipline community is to give us something that continues to support us.

Once this challenge is over, we’ll be moving into all kinds of other forms of mutual support. Just know: the Blissipline community will keep evolving. It will hold space for you to practice what you want.

My goal is that it becomes ever more diverse—so what you want becomes available. The community responds: “Yeah, we can create that. Let’s find five people who want to do it. I’ll support you.” And there it is.

Just understand: this community is here to support you. The challenge isn’t over when the challenge ends.

The challenge is designed to get you into motion. Like CrossFit builds muscle—so when the moment comes, you just lift the couch over your head.

It wasn’t planned. But it wasn’t hard. It was more like: “Whoa. Look what I can do.”

That’s what we’re doing. We’re building muscle so it shows up in your life in those surprising ways.

Maybe it already has. If so—share that in the group.

🌟 The Promise of Blissipline

The promise of Blissipline is this:

If you train yourself to be both happier and more able to cope with unhappy moments, then you become more capable of reclaiming the moment and turning toward the things you choose.

The promise is twofold: I can feel better. And I can change the things I want to change.

You find your way to change them by being willing to change the piece you can—and then another.

So instead of treating Blissipline like something you only do when things go wrong— “Oh no, something’s wrong, I have to practice Blissipline…” It becomes a way of being.

And that way of being gets easier and easier. More joyful. More full of love. And definitely more free.

Free to do what you want. Free to listen to yourself. Free to honor yourself.

🔄 Evolving Your Practice

Hopefully, you’ve begun to make these practices your own—enough to continue them in your own way.

Feel free to change everything up. You’re going to live a long time, and you won’t do everything the same five years from now.

You might do everything completely differently. You might not even call it Blissipline anymore.

But you will still be practicing it—just like your language evolves every time you read a new book, your Blissipline practice will evolve every time you encounter a new piece of life.

Does that make sense?

🧘 Foundational Care

Let this be a foundational practice—like eating good food and moving your body.

Whatever you do, caring for your body is essential. And Blissipline is the same.

Caring for your mind—in all its forms—is essential.

🧠 Challenge Five: Understanding the Nature of Mind

To do this next challenge, I think it’s important to have some understanding of how our minds are constructed. We have many different aspects of self, and the mind has many layers.

If you’ve known me for a while, you know I like to draw pictures.

We’ve talked about this before—the distinction between the conditioned mind and the deliberate mind. Hopefully, that distinction has become easier to see through your practice.

For example, maybe you sat down and tried to think a certain thought—maybe a mantra. And you noticed that the mind immediately goes off and thinks whatever it wants. It doesn’t follow your instructions. So you try again—think the mantra—and again, the mind wanders.

Hopefully, you’ve begun to see: This is just how the mind works. This is normal.

The gap between your intention—“I’m going to do a mantra”—and the mind wandering off, and you coming back, can be anywhere from one second to several minutes.

In fact, Pema Chödrön, one of the great meditation teachers, teaches a practice called tonglen. I remember her saying that sometimes she sits down, sets a 20-minute timer, and begins her tonglen meditation. Then the timer goes off—and she realizes: “Oh. I just spent 20 minutes not doing tonglen.” She didn’t do a lick.

And this is an experienced meditation teacher.

💗 Living with the Mind, Lovingly

So we’re beginning to understand the nature of mind.

And we live with that nature in a loving way.

There’s no fighting it here. But there is understanding it—and that’s so important.

🌊 A Metaphor for the Mind: Water and Depth

This is a metaphor for mind that I think can be very helpful in understanding the various parts we’re talking about.

Imagine the mind as a body of water. There’s the surface of the water—and then there are the depths.

At the surface, the water is highly responsive to turbulence. Something happens, and it impacts the water—just like events impact the mind.

The surface of the mind is constantly being affected: By wind, by ships passing through, by currents. It’s reactive. It’s busy.

In our lives, we’re constantly being affected at this top layer. The mind’s going: “Oh, look at that!” “What about this?” “Oh my gosh!”

This first few feet of water—maybe even more—can be incredibly turbulent. You’ve seen huge waves, right?

But as you begin to go down, the turbulence subsides. You reach places where deep currents flow—steady, consistent. Maybe they’re tidal. Maybe they’re like the Gulf Stream.

And as you go deeper still, it gets quieter. Stillness begins to emerge.

🧘‍♀️ Sinking Below the Surface

As we explore the mind, we find that when we first sit in a presencing practice or try to meditate, we’re often caught up in that surface layer.

This is what happens—just as Pema Chödrön describes—when you’re caught in thought after thought after thought.

Your experience is full. There are all kinds of thoughts happening.

But over time, we begin to sink below that layer.

You might notice: You’re still aware of the turbulent layer. You can hear the mind going. But you’re beginning to settle quietly down.

You start to insert deliberate thoughts—like a mantra. And slowly, slowly, you move deeper.

Your mantra becomes the thing you’re more aware of—not the surface chatter.

And then, slowly again, you move even further down— Until you reach the space of stillness that thoughts arise from.

Thoughts emerge in the context of this stillness.

And this part of the mind? It’s always available. In any moment, it’s right there. We can sink into it.

🕊️ Resting in Natural Great Peace

There’s a poem I love called Rest in Natural Great Peace.

It speaks to this idea: There is a peace that is natural and great. And you can rest in it.

This stillness is available to us.

But because we’re beings moving through the world, stimuli come in—and poof—we need to respond. The conditioned mind—the automatic mind—is designed to do that.

You can be completely zoned out: Looking at the sun, enjoying the birds, watching a movie, listening to music…and suddenly something happens. You weren’t looking. You weren’t paying attention. But this part of the mind—this autonomic system—goes: “Whoa! Wake up!” It pops you into high alert.

These systems are designed to help us survive. They’re good systems.

But the thing is: we spend so much time up there. And we don’t often rest in these quiet depths

So what we’re going to talk about now is allowing ourselves to contact this deeper space.

🧪 A Little Experiment: Watching the Mind

I have a little experiment for you.

I originally learned this practice from Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now—about 25 years ago. I remember reading it and trying it, thinking: What? That’s wild! And I still use it from time to time.

So, let’s try the exercise:

Fist, give yourself a little shake. Sit back in your body. Take a yawn. Sip some water—or coffee, or whatever.

Now let your mind and body settle a little.

In a minute, you’re going to think a certain thought, then sit silently for a few breaths and notice what arises.

The thought is: “I wonder what I’m going to think next.”

So, you’re going to settle, deliberately think that thought, then sit silently and watch what happens.

When you’re ready, hit pause so you can take as much time as you want. Then try it:

“I wonder what I’m going to think next.”

(pause)

🧘‍♀️ What Did You Notice?

Did you try it? If not—please do. It’s worth it.

Assuming you’ve done it—what did you notice?

You had the deliberate thought: “I wonder what I’m going to think next.”
Then there was a little space.
Then the mind started thinking things.

Did you catch that space? Did you see it?

Did you notice when the mind started thinking? Did the thoughts arise gently? Did they pop in or zoom in?

Was there no space at all?

Did you notice the thoughts? Did you get caught in them? Did you get pulled into them?

There’s a whole range of things that can happen here.

👁️ Layers of Awareness

Here’s what we’re noticing:

First, we stop.
Then we think the deliberate thought: “I wonder what I’m going to think next.”
Then we notice the space of silence that follows.
Then we notice what the mind does in that space—it starts thinking.
And then—we notice that we’re noticing.

There’s an awareness, when we think the thought, “I am looking at the mind.” There’s a slight awareness that there is an I that isn’t quite the mind. Here’s me, looking at it.

So again, the sequence is:

Thinking the deliberate thought.
Noticing the space.
Noticing the thoughts arising.
Noticing the observer self—you—watching the whole thing.

Let’s do it again:

Pause.
Stop.
Think: “I wonder what I’m going to think next.”
Give it time and pay attention.

It’ll be different every time.

(pause)

🧩 Four Things You Might Notice

You probably noticed four distinct things:

The deliberate mind. You sent an instruction to the mind, and it followed it. Perhaps you even noticed the timing, the sound, the shape of the deliberate thought.
The space: Perhaps you noticed the short gap of silence before thoughts arise.
The thoughts themselves. You may have stayed in the noticing, or followed the train of thought. Sometimes you get caught. Sometimes you don’t.
The awareness of the thoughts This is subtle—but it’s the part of you that’s quietly watching. Noticing the process. Noticing the thoughts, and noticing you noticing this.

📝 Reflect and Share

I encourage you to stop and take some notes. Share them in the group later.

Did you perceive something here?

Being able to distinguish these aspects of awareness is a powerful shift in perception. Some teachers believe—and I kind of agree—it’s the most important shift you can make.

It’s like learning to distinguish between the gas pedal and the brake in a car. You’ve got to know these parts if you’re going to drive well.

And with the mind—you have to know these parts if you’re going to navigate it well.

Without this awareness, it’s hard to tell what part of the mind you’re operating from.

With this awareness, you begin to have a choice:

Am I coming from the deliberate mind?
Or am I coming from the conditioned, automatic mind?

And the conditioned mind? You’ll see more and more—it’s not always operating to support you. It’s enacting old patterns that aren’t beneficial.

But the deliberate mind can always see. It can say: “Oh. I see you.”

🧠 Between Stimulus and Response

There's this beautiful quote by Viktor Frankl—at least it's commonly attributed to him—and it's a good summary of his work:

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Between stimulus and response, there is a space, and in that space is our power to choose our response.

We could also say: our freedom—our power, our freedom—to choose our response.

And in our response, how we respond, determines our growth and our freedom.

So when you just did this exercise, the stimulus was: I wonder what I'm going to think next? And the response was: whatever you thought.

And in between was a space that you perceived—the space between stimulus and response.

⚡ Reaction vs. Response

When we're out in our lives, and something happens, and we have a response, it's often much more like a reaction. This is a natural system that reacts—it’s designed to prevent you from walking out in front of cars. It's a very good system.

So often, we don't feel like there's any space at all.

But what we're doing in this challenge is we're beginning to do two things:

We're growing that space—we're making it bigger by practicing, by practicing noticing.
And we're also beginning to be able to come back. So when there was no space, something happened and you reacted—we can reclaim it and say, “Hold on. I had a reaction, but I get to have a response. Now I'm putting in a space.”

So we can do it after the fact.

We often can't do it in the moment. Let's be clear. The mind is faster than you can catch. It's going to say the things it's going to say. It's going to do the things it's going to do. This is the nature of mind.

But we can say, “Wait, what did I just think? Hold on, hold on.” So we come back.

This is what we're doing when we're practicing our presencing practice. We're growing that space bigger and becoming more aware of it so that we can become more present—here and now. We can catch the space, or we come back and reclaim it.

🧭 Challenge Five: Reconnecting with Our Guidance

So in Challenge Five, this space is going to be an important part of how we connect to our guidance.

So now we're going to start talking about this guidance. What is this guidance we're reconnecting to?

🌌 The Mystery Beyond Logic

So there's another quote, commonly attributed to Heisenberg, but probably not him either. It says:

“Not only is the universe stranger than we think, it is stranger than we can think.”

This is something that has grown out of physics in the last hundred years. We’ve discovered we can't even think about the way the universe actually is. It doesn't fit into our mind. It defies our capacity to visualize and understand.

Einstein was one of the first who saw this. This is what quantum theory is about. This is where we begin to see how the tiniest particles behave in ways that make no sense to our mind.

And so what we began to understand—and have a little humility about—is that there is a vast mystery that we don't really understand. And we probably can't understand it. Not really.

But we can look at it. We can observe. We can learn.

🔮 What Is Guidance?

So when we're contacting our guidance, often we are contacting something that is more like intuition than logic. More like grokking than analyzing. More like intuiting than explaining.

And intuition is a very important thing.

Logic is a really powerful tool. It helps us analyze, predict, build things. It gives structure to our thoughts. It gives clarity to our choices. Logic is very helpful.

But it has boundaries. And the boundaries are shaped by what we can measure, what we can explain, what we can consciously process.

Intuition starts where logic leaves off. It's not the opposite of logic. It's the extension of it. It's how we access deeper layers of intelligence when:

the data is just too vast
the variations too subtle
and the mind and the moment just too alive to be captured by reason alone

Intuition holds a big, broad capability for understanding.

🧬 Two Ways of Experiencing Intuition

Sometimes it seems that intuition feels like a whisper from something greater than ourselves. A kind of loving intelligence that knows us, guides us, that co-creates with us.

But other times it feels more like coming out of the quiet hum of our own complex internal systems: Our gut brain, our heart brain, our cellular memory, all processing more information than our conscious mind could ever hold.

So these are two ways that we tend to perceive intuition.

Whether or not we perceive it as coming from the outside or the inside, we experience it as this thing that is beyond logic—because it is.

In both of these cases, intuition is a form of knowing. It's how we navigate complexity and mystery and transformation.

🚲 You Can’t Logic Your Way into Riding a Bike

It's also how we do lots of things that we don't really know how we do. Even as simple as riding a bike.

You can't logic your way into riding a bike.

At some point, you have to let go of conscious control and let the larger systems handle it -- all this natural balance, all this proprioception, all this stuff that's under the surface.

So intuition is connecting us to a vast network of information—internally, and externally.

🧘‍♀️ Both Lenses Are Valuable

In our challenge, we're going to explore both lenses:

Intuition as a kind of spiritual connection to a larger loving intelligence
Intuition as a biological and cognitive capacity to process deep, embodied data

Both are valid. Both are powerful. Both are yours to explore.

No need to choose. We just allow ourselves to play.

🔍 Why Contact Inner Wisdom?

So why does it matter that we contact our inner wisdom?

Well, the world is so full of noise.

External advice: people saying, “Do this, do that.” So much of that now! It’s hit a chaotic level because of the Internet, because of social media.

And then there’s internal conditioning: All those “I should do this, I should do that” impulses. Contradictory impulses.

And then there are cultural scripts: “Well, my people are like this.” “We do this in our family.” “My culture says this.”

And all of this has very little to do with you, really.

Your inner wisdom is the only thing truly calibrated to you. It’s the part of you that knows what is nourishing for you, that has a sense of what’s true for you, that kind of knows what’s next for you.

It knows what you want. This is why we practice turning toward wanting in Challenge Four.

It groks you. It gets you. It honors you. It’s how you trust yourself.

🌊 The Still, Small Voice

But this inner wisdom doesn’t shout. It doesn’t say, “Yo, Mary Cordelia, pay attention over here!”

It gently nudges—almost like a little ocean current.

People talk about the “still, small voice within.” The more we learn to listen, the more we begin to live from a place of alignment: Alignment with our deeper self, our deeper wants, our most beautiful qualities.

And also: clarity. Not the kind of clarity where everything lines up perfectly. More like clearness. Clarity. Trust.

Ultimately: trust in yourself.

🧘‍♀️ It’s Not About the Right Answer

Contacting our inner wisdom is never about getting the right answer. It’s about cultivating a relationship with this deeper intelligence that’s already there—within you and around you.

So again, we have intuition as:

A bridge to a larger, loving intelligence—something spiritual, relational, something aware of you
Or as your body and brain’s way of processing vast amounts of information—way beyond what your conscious mind can track

Way beyond! In fact—as Heisenberg said—beyond what we can think.

Both of these are valid. Both are evidence-based. Both are grounded in personal experience.

And both invite you to trust your experience more than other people’s ideas.

✨ Path One: Divine Design

I want to describe these two paths, and then we’ll weave them together.

The first we might call the Divine Design Path—the idea that the universe is not just intelligent, but aware. There’s a path of synchronicity, felt guidance, and relational mystery.

On this path, we notice patterns not just as data, but as messages. We sense that creativity, love, and intuition are not just human traits—they’re reflections of larger intelligence.

This is reflected in how artists often don’t know where their work comes from.

You don’t have to believe in a higher power to do this. You can simply understand it as emergent wisdom. But for many people, this just feels true. It feels right. And I want to honor that sense.

You can call it God, or Source, or Spirit. Or simply: loving awareness. Universal love.

Elizabeth Gilbert uses the acronym SOUL: Spirit of Unconditional Love. For her, it’s very interrelational—“We are here for one another.”

I like to take it one step further: Spirit of Universal Love—really tapping into something vast.

🕊️ Practices on the Divine Design Path

Practices here might include:

Prayer and mantras
Intuitive journaling
Pulling cards
Listening for signs
Cultivating a felt sense of being guided

You gather your evidence through personal experience—through emotional resonance and unfolding clues.

This path is powerful and beautiful. And you don’t have to believe anything. You just honor what it feels like.

Beliefs may arise. You may come from a tradition with strong beliefs. That’s all fine.

But this is a way to sit in your own honoring of perception— To listen for guidance without needing the mind to explain it.

This path says: The universe knows me somehow, and I am in relationship with it.

🌌 Path Two: Emergent Order

The other path, we might call the Emergent Order Path.

This path trusts that the universe is vast, complex, and ultimately somewhat understandable. Even if we don’t have the tools yet, we don’t need to explain it. We can grok it. We can sense it.

We observe patterns as systems, feedback loops, natural laws. We sense how creativity and consciousness emerge from complexity—not necessarily from a personal source, but from the complexity itself.

We might call it: Cosmos. Field. System. The unknown. The mystery.

🧠 Practices on the Emergent Order Path

Practices here include:

Mindfulness
Presencing practice—“Here I am, noticing what’s around me”
Scientific inquiry—“Let’s look into why this happens”
Meditation
Journaling for clarity
Tracking your own data—just noticing what works for you, what you discover

We collect evidence through observation, repeated experience, and logical coherence.

This path says: The cosmos is unfolding—planets, plants, animals—and I am part of this pattern.

We see ourselves as part of the pattern. This is how we access wisdom.

🧵 Weaving the Two Paths

Finally, if we’re weaving the two, we might feel deeply guided in one moment and deeply curious in the next.

We might use a mantra to connect with something larger than ourselves— Then track its effects on our mood, seeing how it works within the nervous system.

We might believe in a kind of loving intelligence— “I don’t know what it is, but I kind of grok it”— and also explore how that belief shapes our cognitive biases, our nervous system, our behavior.

(This is the woven path I walk, in case you weren’t aware.)

I describe these two paths because many people have set up a false duality: Science versus spirit.

It’s not real. It’s a made-up duality of the mind.

There is a deep mystery we are tapping into. And what we call it isn’t nearly as important as that we look carefully— And trust our own intuition.

🧠 Opening the Filters: Confirmation Bias and Intuition

Now here's a very important piece.

Confirmation bias—the extraordinarily strong process in human nature that leads us to see, perceive, and acknowledge data that matches our existing beliefs, and filter out or be blind to data that opposes them.

When we begin to deliberately shift our bias, when we say, “I am open to a new idea here,” we literally open filters that bring in more data.

So I'm going to invite you to begin to open filters to bring intuitive data. Invite yourself to be curious about intuitive data.

We are deliberately shifting the mind’s bias. We are saying to the mind: “Please look for this data.” And then, somewhere in the background, the mind begins to search for it.

This is one of the reasons that when you start to learn a new word, you see the word popping up everywhere. Your mind is now filtering for it. It says, “Oh look, there's that thing she mentioned,” and it brings it into your awareness.

When we shift our bias, our brain begins to search differently. It starts looking for new patterns, new signals, new data that align with this openness.

This is one of the ways our guidance becomes more accessible—not because the world changes (although that does happen too), but because your perceptual filters change.

Literally. Imagine that there are these ten things, but your brain was filtering 3 of them out because they didn’t conform to your existing beliefs. Then you say, “Look for these things,” and suddenly—poof! There are 10. They were there all along.

✨ The Woo-Woo Path vs. the Why-Why Path

I thought it would be fun to name the paths.

We could call one the Woo-Woo Path—where we trust the mystery, the divine design. We don’t always need to know why. We just know it’s real.

In this path, we practice:

Surrender
Listening
Intuitive movement
Making meaning

The beliefs are things like: “Love is the logic,” and “The universe is my co-creator.”

It’s the Woo-Woo Path.

Then there’s the Why-Why Path. This path doesn’t settle for mystery. It wants to understand. It trusts inquiry, curiosity, and the power of asking.

It asks questions. It maps systems. It believes that understanding deepens experience—and truth is worth chasing.

So the Woo-Woo path says: “I don’t know why this works, I just know it does.” And the Why-Why says: “I don’t know how it works, but I’m going to find out.”

In both cases, we bring curiosity and aliveness to it—and we honor our path.

Whether you prefer the Woo-Woo Path or the Why-Why Path—or like me, you’re constantly integrating the two—all that means is you’ll prefer some practices over others.

So just do the ones you like.

This is Blissipline, not discipline. Let yourself be guided by what you prefer.

🌉 Trusting Guidance: Building Confidence

Over time, as you practice deliberately listening for your guidance and noticing what happens when you try to trust it, you’ll develop more and more confidence in it.

I’ve done some variation on trusting my guidance hundreds and hundreds of times. And like anything else, as I practice, things change.

I discover things I never expected to find.
I learn skills I didn’t know existed.
I develop a deep confidence—both in this inner wisdom and in my power of connection to it, to the universe.

This is experiential—through practicing.

And many people have had this experience of connecting to guidance through practicing. Here are a couple of really famous examples. Maybe you already know them.

📚 Famous Examples of Trusting Guidance

There’s this beautiful quote from W.H. Murray. You may have heard it, but maybe you don’t know why. The quote is:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back—always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: That the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would come his way.”

You’d think this guy was a philosopher. He wasn’t.

He was a mountaineer.

He led the Scottish Himalayan Expedition in 1951, and this quote comes from the book he wrote about it.

The team faced daunting odds. They had very little funding, no Himalayan experience, didn’t speak the language, and had minimal preparation time. They were told they needed years to prepare—and they had eight weeks.

Yet once they committed, unexpected support started to appear. Resources came in. Despite financial constraints, they received donations and equipment from unexpected sources—support from the Scottish Mountaineering Club, individuals who believed in the vision.

Logistical help surfaced. Transport, permits, guides in India—all went more smoothly than expected. They weren’t expecting to summit major peaks, but they had safe passage, made discoveries, explored remote areas, made first ascents of several mountains, and returned safely—which no one could be sure would happen.

His reflections during and after the expedition became foundational for him. He began to believe in something we could call the sufficiency of light within us.

That phrase is actually a quote from Lucretia Mott. She said:

“My conviction led me to adhere to the sufficiency of the light within us, resting on truth for authority, not on authority for truth.”

Lucretia Mott wasn’t sitting around writing philosophy books either.

She was an abolitionist, a women’s rights advocate, a Quaker.

She worked hard to help establish a society where people were treated humanely—rescuing slaves, part of the Underground Railroad.

Her reflection on inner light is the idea that within us we carry inner wisdom—possibly a divine spark—that guides us toward truth.

And when she says “resting on truth for authority, not on authority for truth,” she’s rejecting conventional power structures that say the world should be this way, black people should be this way, women should be this way.

Instead, the truth emerging from inner love and knowing becomes the foundation for her authority.

That’s what we’re checking into here.

And I have one more example I just love.

There’s a wonderful conversation called The Power of Myth between Bill Moyers and Joseph Campbell.

Bill Moyers asks, kind of hesitantly: “Do you ever have the sense of… being helped by hidden hands?”

And Joseph Campbell says: “Oh, all the time. It’s miraculous.”

He goes on:

“I even have a suspicion, a superstition now, that has grown on me as the result of invisible hands coming all the time. Namely, that if you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while waiting for you. And the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living.

When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t even know they were going to be.”

🌉 My Bridge Story

I’ve lived a version of this too. Mine is much less dramatic than theirs—but very powerful nonetheless.

As I’ve given myself over to this larger-than-me knowing, I’ve seen my life change in ways I never could have imagined. I’ve seen powerful things move in to support me in ways I never could have engineered.

It’s led me to my own perfect quote that I use over and over again:

“The energy that creates worlds has no trouble handling this.”

I’ve said this to myself many times—especially when I start to get all worried and controlly and “gotta make sure I…”

I remind myself, “Mary, the energy that creates worlds has no trouble handling this.”

There’s a kind of handing it over that I’ve learned to be willing to do. And as we hand it over and over, we begin to know this trust for ourselves in a dependable, experiential way.

It really is as simple as this little footbridge I have—just a small wooden bridge over a ditch where the water drains.

We live on a mountain, so the water comes down, and this is how we keep it from coming into the house.

When I first used that bridge, I was really careful. I didn’t know how strong it was. Would my foot go through? Would it collapse? So I walked slowly.

Then over time, I developed confidence.

At some point, I thought, “Let’s see how strong this really is.” I stomped and jumped up and down—and it held.

Now I just run across it without paying attention.

That’s what it feels like to develop faith in your inner knowing.

🌟 Leaning Into Guidance

So I'm going to give you a bunch of practices to just lean into trusting this guidance.

And I'm going to end with this quote. Elizabeth Gilbert says:

“You're afraid to surrender because you don't want to lose control. But you never had control. All you had was anxiety.”

When I read this I laughed! I thought, “oh—right! Almost all my control moments are just anxiety. They're not actually about control, because I'm not going to regain control in the way my mind wants. The control is never there. It was just anxiety.”

When you trust, I will tell you this: You tap into a larger knowing. You will find you do have much more ability—much more control over your emotions, over your thoughts, over your behaviors. And then the world does start to align.

🧭 Challenge Five Practices

So here are the few things we're going to do for Challenge Five.

Practice One: Keep Doing What Works

First, do any and all of the practices from Challenges One through Four—whenever you want to, and in whatever way feels good.

If it works for you to have a bit of a system—(which it does for me -- if I don't have a system, sometime I don't do anything)—great. If it doesn't work for you, great.

This is Blissipline, not discipline. Blissipline: following your bliss.

However, there's one form of discipline we sometimes do need to practice blissfully—and that is to remember to stop and do it. That's the discipline we need.

Wait. Stop.

The habitual hurtling-forward patterns of the conditioned mind—usually based in worry and anxiety—need interruption.

Stop and turn in the direction of well-being.

This might require you to be a bit strategic and disciplined. It might require you to set alarms. It might require you to do crazy things like put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it at yourself.

I did this thing for a while where I had five little rubber bands. I just transferred them from wrist to wrist all day long as I practiced my Blissipline.

Put some stones in your pocket. Put Post-its up. Put alerts on your phone.

There might be all kinds of ways you discipline yourself to practice Blissipline.

That's the only real discipline we need.

Because the mind is going to travel down its well-worn, familiar neural pathways of unhappiness, complaining, powerlessness. It's going to do that. All the things it's always done—it's going to do.

And we are building new neural pathways.

So you might have to intervene.

🧘‍♀️ The STRETCH Protocol

Now I do have a stretch protocol, and I'll just explain it real quick here. It's really simple:

St = Stop
R = Regroup
T = Then
Ch = Choose

ST-RE-T-CH: Stop, regroup, then choose.

The “then” is important. Don't choose until you've regrouped.

You could make a little note for yourself: “Take a stretch.”

Stop. Regroup.

How do I regroup? Well, you've learned all kinds of ways:

Practice appreciation
Practice gratitude
Look at this moment and ask, “What can I change about this moment?”
Do a positive What if? (“Okay, I hear the negative What if. What would the positive What if be?”)
Try an I like thinking about…

There are about a thousand other Blissipline practices we’ll have access to through the Blissipline group that we haven’t introduced in this challenge. But if you have some—do them.

You could Stretch. Just come into your body, and actually stretch.

Jump up and down.

😤 The “I Hate Everything” Practice

This is one of my favorites. I did it for a while when I was learning how to deal with my depression back in the day. Another client of mine recently really embraced it and used it to get through a difficult period.

This was simply that I would just acknowledge how I hated everyone and everything.

That became a Blissipline.

Because it wasn’t self critical, like, “Oh Marycordelia, you're so bad. You should be a better person.”

It was simply like: “No. I hate everything.”

And it was so freeing to simply tell the truth about how I was feeling, that I would often laugh—and then I would feel better.

So there are a million Blissiplines that meet you where you are. We’ll go over more of them. But for now, we have these few.

The basic thing is: Stop. Regroup. Then choose.

This is the Viktor Frankl stimulus-response. Creating the gap.

Stop. Build the gap. Regroup. Then choose.

🧘‍♂️ Practice Two: Quiet the Mind

Our second practice is going to be finding ways to quiet the mind.

One of the reasons it's hard to access our inner guidance, our inner wisdom, our inner knowing, our larger self—is because the mind is so loud.

So, we need to quiet the mind. Listen for guidance. Let yourself sink down.

There are a lot of ways to do this.

You might like a mantra you can use all the time—not just during your presencing practice. It can be part of your alert system. This mantra could pop up on your phone to remind you. You could write it on your hand. You could use any number of mantras.

One I’ve been using a lot lately—because I’ve been so busy—is:

“Easy does it. Easy does it. Easy does it.”

It’s been very helpful. It pulls me out of my “make sure everything’s going right” mode and let’s me relax and let go.

Another mantra I really like is simply:

“Quieting the mind. Quieting the mind.”

🫶 Settling the Nervous System

Now, if you have strong feelings and activation in your body, you might need to settle the nervous system.

You might need to make contact with your inner fears.

I encourage a hand on the heart—maybe a double hand. Put some pressure and say:

“Hello. Hello, part of me that is anxious. Hello.”

Think about this: In the moment of saying that, you're actually distinguishing yourself from the fear.

Remember that observer self—seeing what's going on.

As you say hello to it, you’re recognizing: It is within you. It is not all of you. There’s a part of you that is saying hello to it.

It’s always an inner child part that’s anxious or scared or something like this. It always is—because that’s our conditioning. That’s our evolution. So we can speak kindly to that child if we can. If you can bring yourself to do it.

You're not really talking to yourself. You are—but you're not. Because you’re talking to a child part of you.

You can say: “Hello, sweetie. I see you. I hear you,” and just breathe with it for a little bit.

🧘‍♀️ Longer Meditations (Only If You Want To)

Now the next part of this, I'm going to invite you to consider and explore—but do not do it unless you want to.

There are longer forms of meditation.

I am not saying you have to do this. Please hear me—I’m not. But I want to tell you a little bit about them and why they work. Then we’ll let them sit in the back of your mind and see if you find yourself called to them.

There are three I want to mention—because it’s powerful knowledge that I don’t think many people have. So I want to share it.

📚 1. Eco Meditation (Dawson Church)

There are a lot of people who’ve done amazing studies about meditation. They’ve looked deeply into wisdom traditions—thousands of years old—and added a kind of global experiment. They’ve included people from many walks of life, traditions, backgrounds, and types of being, and seen what tends to help.

One of these is Dawson Church who created Eco Meditation.

Eco Meditation is a specific form of meditation he came up with. It guides you through a series of seven steps, each of which helps you deepen into nervous system and brain systems that support meditation.

It’s available on his website for free. https://ecomeditation.com/

🧘 2. Transcendental Meditation (TM)

The next thing I want to mention is Transcendental Meditation.

To do this, you actually have to take the class—and it does cost money, but you don’t necessarily need this. I just want to talk about their research.

They’ve done a lot of research.

What they’ve found is that mantra work—20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening or afternoon—has enormous power to shift well-being. It’s very effective over time.

I want to be clear… I’ve never been someone who’s that consistent—I’m not wired that way. But I do really try to do a straight-up sitting meditation every morning for 20 minutes—because it’s so stabilizing.

Their research shows:

20 minutes once a day = solid benefit
20 minutes twice a day = way higher benefit

I’ve never done that consistently, but still, I want to honor this as another path that’s been shown to be really effective. It’s worth looking into.

🧠 3. Persistent Fundamental Well-Being (Jeffrey Martin)

The third thing I want to mention is from a guy named Jeffrey Martin

He’s done work on what he calls Persistent Fundamental Well-Being.

His research suggests you can access this quite quickly. Not 20 minutes a day, twice a day, for years—but in a period of weeks, by doing an hour a day and a bunch of other practices.

So this is kind of the fast-track.

He has a course called 45 Days to Awakening.

(I’ve done both TM and his course—and a lot of other things.)

What he began to see is that for most people, certain things will work. But if those things don’t work, there’s a hierarchy, and this next thing is likely to work. And if that doesn’t work, then the next thing.

Rather than saying, “Here’s the one thing you should do every day,” he said: Let me look at all the things that work for people. See what proportion works for most people. Then take the people it doesn’t work for and figure out what will help them best.

He created a system to organize this. It’s all available on his website: https://www.nonsymbolic.org/

🧘‍♂️ 4. Mindfulness

Finally—just straight-up mindfulness.

Mindfulness was my doorway into mental peace.

And this doorway came at a time when I was extremely dysregulated and depressed. I was experiencing suicidal ideation almost daily. I felt like a terrible loser, like a wreck, like I was no good. I had no sense of any capacity to create my own happiness.

Mindfulness gave me the first tool I had that I could use to adjust my state of being.

🚫 No Shoulds

I want to be clear: There’s no “should” here.

Your mind is going to start doing: “Oh my God, I should do this.” “I should be able to.” “I’m never going to be able to do this.” “I never have.”

Don’t worry. This is just the mind.

I’m offering some possibilities.

You might be led to try some longer meditations. You might find you want to do some different things. You might experience something that makes you want to do it again.

That’s what Blissipline teaches us: Try something. And once it’s nice, you’ll have some personal motivation to do it again.

But you might just stay right where you are and practice whatever feels good.

🌿 Gentle Practices

Let me remind you of our gentle practices.

The Wingwave app—have you tried that yet? It’s so nice.

Slow walking.

Sky gazing.

Just the STRETCH protocol.

Hands on your heart. “Hello, sweetie.”

Follow your breath for a minute or two.

If you’re feeling like crap—close your eyes. Hunker down for a while. Put a blanket over your head and say, “I hate the world. Go away.”

Honor your feeling.

If we let ourselves feel what we feel, we move right through it.

You might also try shorter formal meditations: “Okay, I’m going to sit up really straight—but just for five minutes. I’m not doing any 20 minutes.”

Feel free to dive in deeper whenever you want to—whenever you’re called to. You’ll have personal experiences that call you to go the way you want.

You might be called to go deeper. To commit more time, focus, or energy. But I have never, ever benefited from—nor seen anyone benefit from—turning that into a “should.”

Turning it into a “should” always messes it up. It makes it counterproductive. It turns it into a burden. It keeps it right up in your head.

In the past, I turned meditation so much into a “should” that I didn’t meditate for years—in defiance of my own personal shoulds.

But slowly, I replaced the shoulds with listening to myself. With honoring my preferences. Honoring my path.

And yeah—the silence did call me. Yes, I’ve done long retreats. Yes, I do the daily sits.

But whenever I turn that into a “should,” it still backfires.

So: gentle, presencing practices.

🔮 Practice Three: Deliberate Intuition

Now this is when it gets fun. I started out doing this with a book called Buddha’s Little Instruction Book by Jack Kornfield. It’s a book that has one little Buddhist quote on each page. And I would just open it up and live that quote for the day.

It didn’t start out as an “oracle” practice. It started out as a deliberate practice of living ethically—of living in a way that felt honorable to me. So at first, I would just do it as: “This is how I want to live my day.”

But over time, it turned into an oracle. It was the weirdest thing.

📖 The Kindness Page

There were two huge moments that changed everything for me.

I had been doing it a while—literally every day. I would just pick one and live it that day.

And then I went through this huge breakup. A long-term relationship ended. It was awful. There was betrayal. It was horrible. I felt terrible.

And one day, I opened my little book to a page I’d never seen before, and this page said:

“Life is so difficult. How can we be anything but kind?”

And I was like—what? No way!! Because I was furious.

But I had been doing it long enough to see the benefit of living from Buddha’s Little Instruction Book. So I decided, “Fine. I’ll be kind.”

Then the next day I got that page again. And then again.

And I tried not to get it. I tried to make it totally random.

And I got that page again. And again. And I had never gotten that page before that moment.

And I thought, “Okay. This is weird.” It really felt like some part of me was saying: “Nope. This is the message you need right now.”

And it was so appropriate because what happened was—I practiced kindness, and as a result, the breakup was much less painful. Much less acrimonious. Much less difficult. It wasn’t full of struggle and fight. I wasn’t a doormat. But I was kind.

So that was an interesting thing.

📚 The Same Message, Twice

Then sometime after that, I had another moment. Another breakup—holy moly, breakups were the theme of the time, right?

And I had this moment: “I just need to know how to cope with this relationship. Because this is not healthy for me. I need to get out of this.”

So I opened Buddha’s Little Instruction Book, and it said:

“Like the mother of the whole world, love each being as your own beloved child.”

And I thought—that’s just bad advice. Because this is not a good relationship for me. This is not good advice.

It was the first time I really rejected a page from my Buddha’s Little Instruction book.

So I got up. It was the middle of the night. I was lying in bed, and I walked into the living room. I went to the shelf where I had a whole lot of books. And I randomly picked a book in the dark.

I came back to bed. I opened it up.

And it said:

“Like the mother of the whole world, love each being as your own beloved child.”

And then it went on to talk about how that kind of love— not “love this being particularly as your own beloved child,” but “love each being as your own beloved child”— moves you into a state of non-attachment, moves you into a state of being the love you are, rather than needing others to bring love out in you.

Oh!!! It was really deep.

This was the opening of my willingness to begin to think: “This feels like more than chance. This feels like guidance I can trust.”

🔮 Oracular Trust and Body Compass

I was very skeptical. That’s why I know these two paths so well.

But over time, I started to really trust the process. I started trusting anything that came my way—just to see what it would say.

Some time later, again, I had another relationship problem, and I went to a shelf to grab a book. I pulled out what I thought was a book, and it turned out to be this little thin box of henna hair color.

I don’t know why it was on the shelf, but I pulled it out and thought, “Well, let’s see what’s on there.”

And in the directions for use, you know how they sometimes translate things from a foreign language into slightly weird language?

It said: “Patience and time will yield the best results.”

And I thought, all right! Just understand, this is unfolding in time. You don’t have to deal with this right here, right now.”

So, over time, I began to interact with the world in a sort of oracular way. A way to trust.

📖 Try It Yourself

You might start to do things like that. Just pull a book. Try one.

You can start with one like the one I had, where everything in it is good advice, so it is always fine to listen to it.

Or you might be more random.

Begin to invite guidance to come to you.

If you read something, you don’t have to do everything it says. There are no rules here.

Listen to yourself. Notice how it feels. Notice how it lands within you.

🧭 The Yes/No Body Compass

If you have a specific question, there’s a really nice kind of oracular process using a yes/no body compass.

Here’s how it works:

Ask your question—something simple and yes/no. “Should I do this?” or “Is this the right time for me to take a nap?”
Sit or stand comfortably. Take a few breaths. Bring your awareness into your body—especially your torso.
Say aloud: “Show me a yes.” Then observe whatever you feel. Do you feel a lift in the chest? A forward lean? A sense of warmth or openness? Something else?
Then say: “Show me a no.” Sit very still and pay attention. Maybe there’s a sinking feeling, a backward pull, or tightness—something opposite to the yes.
Try it a couple more times: “Show me a yes.” “Show me a no.”Get your yes and no established. These will be completely unique to you.The key is: observe without forcing. Just allow yourself to notice what happens.
Then ask your question. Feel for the yes or no. See how you feel about the message.

🧠 Why This Works

The reason this works is because the body is processing vast amounts of information:

Emotional
Relational
Environmental

Way more complex and faster than the conscious mind.

By tuning into the body’s signals, we’re bypassing mental noise and accessing a deeper layer of knowing.

🌠 Synchronicities and Listening

You can also keep an eye open for coincidences. Some people love numbers. Synchronicities.

Whether you call it confirmation bias or synchronicity is fine.

Whether your interpretation is that you’re seeing it because you’re looking for it, or you’re seeing it because the universe is handing it to you, it’s fine.

Invite life to reveal synchronicities and guidance to you

Of course, the stretch protocol can be part of the checking in:

Stop. Regroup. Then choose to listen.

Instead of saying, “What should I do?” and staying cerebral — Choose to listen to the intuitive guidance: “What am I being called to do here?” “What am I being called to choose?”

🧬 Beyond the Thinking Mind

Remember: the main thing we’re doing here is using these practices to access information that’s coming from somewhere other than the mind—or somewhere greater than this part of the mind.

Of course, it is the brain. There’s the whole default mode network. In Eco Meditation, Dawson Church shows how presencing builds a bridge between the medial prefrontal cortex and the amygdala.

So it is brain—but it isn't the thinking mind. It’s something deeper.

And of course it might be larger than that. It does feel that way to me at this point.

To paraphrase Joseph Campbell:

I developed a superstition as a result of this data.

I love how he said that:

The belief in it allows you to bypass a lot of habitual thinking. The belief is helpful.

🧘‍♀️ Sensing and Feeling

So to pull it all together, we contact intuition mostly through:

Sensing
Grokking
Inner knowing

And a big clue to what we’re sensing is that subtle feeling.

That’s why, from the very beginning of the challenge, we placed so much emphasis on developing the capacity to notice what you’re feeling.

Remember, the very basis of this challenge is:

Can I feel a little better? A little less anxious? A little more delighted? A little less crappy? A little more happy?

💬 A Provocative Quote

I’ll leave you with one more quote. This is a very provocative quote from Abraham Hicks.

When I heard it, I was like—oh. This seems a little harsh.

But I’m throwing it out here. You don’t have to like it. I just want you to hear it.

“You get to choose how you feel no matter what.

And if you think anything else, you’re not free. And if you think anything else, you haven’t been practicing. And if you think anything else, you are a hostage to society—especially your family and your friends.

And that is the basis of your resentment to humanity, to your life, to your friends, to your family, to life itself.”

The core idea is: You get to choose. And if you think anything else, you’re not free.

Now—we’re not going to succeed all the time. Okay? Not all the time. Be gentle with yourself.

But what if you really do have power like that? And you can access it?

🧾 Final Notes

Below, you’ll see a long list of ways to connect with inner guidance. They start out simple—spiritual, scientific, whatever. Then they get really wackadoodle—because I wanted to include everything.

May the fruits of your practice benefit you—and by extension, all beings.

Post in the group. Reach out to me.

🌟 Ways to Connect with Inner Guidance

🧘‍♀️ Quieting the Mind

Presencing Practice
Meditation
Breathwork
Sitting in silence
Nature immersion or forest bathing

✨ Spiritual Listening

Prayer or devotional conversation
Pulling oracle cards
Asking for signs or synchronicities
Dream journaling and interpretation
Mantra repetition or chanting
Ritual offerings or altar work

🧠 Cognitive & Somatic Awareness

Journaling with prompts like “What’s true for me right now?”
Somatic tracking (noticing body sensations and emotional shifts)
Asking a question, then setting it aside and observing what arises
Tracking patterns in mood, energy, or intuition over time

🎨 Creative Channels

Freewriting or stream-of-consciousness journaling
Drawing, painting, or collage as intuitive expression
Movement practices like dance, yoga, or walking meditations
Music improvisation or listening for emotional resonance

🧭 Decision-Making Rituals

The “two-chair” method (switch chairs and dialogue between parts of self)
Imagining future scenarios and sensing into each to see how they feel
Asking: “What would I do if I trusted myself completely?”
Using a “yes/no” body compass

🧩 Integrative Practices

Any of the Presencing practices from Challenge 3
Nourishment check-ins: “What feels nourishing right now?”

Or if you want some weirder ones…

🌀 Slightly Weird, Concrete Ways to Connect with Inner Guidance

🔮 Sensory & Symbolic Practices

Talk to a tree: Ask a question aloud to a tree, then listen for what arises.
Flip to a random page in a book: Let the first sentence you read be your message.
Use your non-dominant hand to write a response: Ask a question, then let your non-dominant hand answer.
Open a map and point randomly: Reflect on what that place evokes or symbolizes.

🧸 Object-Based Rituals

Choose a “guidance object” for the week: A stone, toy, or trinket that you consult daily.
Create a mini altar in your sock drawer: Hide it somewhere private and sacred.
Draw a symbol on your mirror: Let it remind you to check in with your intuition each morning.
Wear mismatched socks intentionally: Use them as a reminder to listen to your inner weirdness.

🗣️ Conversational & Imaginal Techniques

Have a dialogue with your future self: Ask them what they know that you don’t yet.
Ask your pet (or a fictional character) for advice: Then listen to what they say.
Record a voice memo to your “inner guide”: Then play it back if you want and respond.
Use a stuffed animal or figurine as a wisdom proxy: Let it “answer” your questions.

🧭 Movement & Environment

Spin in a circle and walk in the direction you land: See what you notice.
Do a “guidance walk” with no destination: Let your feet decide where to go.
Lie on the floor and ask your question to the ceiling: Stay there until something shifts.
Change one thing in your environment and see what it evokes: A color, a scent, a sound.

🧠 Brain-Hacking Rituals

Ask a question before sleep: See what dreams or thoughts arise in the morning.
Set a timer for 3 minutes and write whatever comes: No editing, no judgment.
Use a random word generator: Let the word spark a metaphor or insight.
Ask your guidance to show up in the next song you hear: Listen closely.

Or if you want to go further… and of course, change these however you want… it’s YOUR weird.

🧙‍♀️ Even Weirder Ways to Connect with Inner Guidance

🌀 Time-Bending & Reality-Tweaking

Ask your future self to send you a sign within 24 hours—then keep your eyes open.
Write a letter to your guidance, then bury it in the backyard. Dig it up in a week.
Set a timer for 3:33 AM and ask your question then—just to see what happens.
Use a random number generator to pick a page in a book, a time to meditate, or a direction to walk.

🧸 Object-Oriented Weirdness

Assign each sock in your drawer a personality. Ask one for advice before a big decision.
Use a potato as your wisdom talisman. Carry it around for a day and see what insights emerge.
Tape a question to your ceiling and stare at it upside down. Wait for the answer to arrive.
Whisper your question into a jar, seal it, and put it in the fridge overnight. Open it in the morning and listen.

🗣️ Conversing with the Unlikely

Ask your houseplants what they think. Listen for tone, posture, or leaf movement.
Interview your shadow—literally. Shine a light, sit with it, and ask it questions.
Let your cat or dog choose between two options. Their nose knows.
Talk to your reflection in a spoon. It’s warped, but so is reality.

🧭 Movement & Chaos Rituals

Spin in a circle until dizzy, then stumble in a direction. That’s your guidance walk.
Do a “backward day”—wear clothes inside out, walk backwards, eat dessert first. Notice what shifts.
Dance like your question is stuck in your elbow. See what it wants.
Lie on the floor and ask your question to the dust bunnies. They’ve seen things.

🧠 Brain-Hacking Oddities

Ask your guidance to show up in the next typo you make. Interpret it like a dream symbol.
Use autocorrect as an oracle. Type your question and see what your phone “thinks” you meant.
Let predictive text finish your sentence. Read it like a prophecy.
Ask ChatGPT to roleplay your inner guidance as a jellyfish. (Okay, maybe not—but you could.)

🧰 Logistics

✨ What’s an ACE day?

🐢 You’re Never Behind

🛤️ Track Your Journey

🕰️ Today’s Prep Practice

🧠 You Only Really Learn from Experience

🌀 Conscious vs Unconscious Practice

🪩 Rock It ‘Til You Grok It

🚫 We Avoid Practice

💥 That’s Why This Challenge Exists

💡 A Real-Life Example

🧬 Mini Geekage: How Practice Builds Your Brain

🏀 Shooting Baskets

📈 What “Better” Feels Like

💖 Why Focus on Freedom, Love & Joy?

🌟 Self FLaJ-Elation

🌍 Is It Even Right to Be Happy Now?

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